Former bridesmaid asks if it would be wrong if she skipped bachelorette party after not being invited to wedding


A woman who was kicked out of a wedding party and disinvited from the wedding was assured that she would not be wrong if she chose to skip the bachelorette party and end her friendship with the bride.

Reddit user “my-hero-macadamia” asked this question to Reddit’s “Am I the A-hole” subreddit in a post on Tuesday, January 2, titled “WIBTA if I don’t attend my friend’s bachelorette party after of her discovering me.” as a bridesmaid and uninvited me to her wedding (but she still wants to be friends)?”

“WIBTA” means “Would I be the asshole?” and is used when a person has not yet committed the action in question.

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In the post, the woman said her friend is getting married in May and last summer asked her to be a bridesmaid.

“I was ecstatic and of course said yes,” the woman wrote.

A Reddit user says she was kicked out of a friend’s wedding party (not pictured) after getting into a fight with her ex, who is the officiant, even though she says they made up and everything is fine. (iStock)

She said she previously had a serious relationship with one of the groomsmen, who will officiate at the wedding.

While they split amicably last February and have maintained a decent relationship since then, they “had an argument” in November.

“A lot of repressed feelings came up,” he said, and “they turned into mutual anger.”

The anger, however, was short-lived and they “made up and hugged” a few days later, he revealed.

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While “my-hero-macadamia” and her ex now apparently get along, the bride wasn’t so sure and kicked the woman out of the wedding party.

“I tried to talk to her while the fight was going on, but was pretty much met with silence,” the original poster wrote on Reddit.

“My other friends were very supportive and gave me advice, even though their SOs were also friends of my ex.”

bride crying at the wedding

The Reddit user said she understood that her friend (not pictured) had anxiety about her wedding, but she “felt very hurt” by the situation. (iStock)

He went on to say that “it was a complicated situation, because we are all friends, but I wasn’t asking anyone to take sides.” [I] “I really needed a friend at that time and I didn’t get one from her.”

Instead of talking to the woman to share what was going on, the bride “kicked me out of the bridal party and disinvited me from the wedding completely,” she said.

“AND [she] It ended with ‘I love you, you’re one of my closest friends, I just have to think about myself and my wedding right now,'” my-hero-macadamia wrote.

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While the woman said she understands that wedding planning is stressful, she also wrote that she “can’t help but feel so hurt that she doesn’t trust me as a friend to be 100% there for her on her wedding day.”

She added: “Is it really terrible of me not to go to his shower? Like I really don’t want to spend money on a gift after this.”

bridesmaids in pink robes

Nearly 300 people assured the woman that she was fine for not wanting to go to the bridal shower of a bride who kicked her out of the wedding party. (iStock)

The original poster wrote in an update to his story that he planned to end his friendship with the girlfriend and would talk to his ex later that day, “just to see where he stands on the matter.”

Fox News Digital reached out to “my-hero-macadamia” to see if there were any more updates on the story, and also contacted a psychologist and an etiquette expert for professional information on the situation.

​On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the author as “NTA” (“Not the A–hole”), “YTA” (“You are the A–hole”), “NAH” (“There are no fools here”) or “ESH” (“Everyone sucks here”).

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Users can “upvote” comments they find useful and “downvote” comments they find unhelpful.

“This is a wild situation and it seems like the only one not handling it like an adult is the girlfriend.”

Most Reddit users (in almost 300 responses to the post) said my-hero-macadamia was “NTA” for wanting to skip the bachelorette party. Many encouraged her to abandon the friendship altogether.

“This is a wild situation and it seems like the only one not handling it like an adult is the girlfriend,” wrote “MochiPryncess” in the top-voted response.

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This commenter continued: “Also, why are you the only one being asked to back out? It takes two people for a relationship to succeed or fail (or exist).”

Another featured comment, written by “shrimpandshooflypie,” said that “my-macadamia-hero” would be “an AH for you” if she remained friends with the bride.

bridesmaids in blue dresses

The bride’s anxiety was “no excuse” for the way she treated the now-former bridesmaid, one Reddit user said. (iStock)

“It’s very nice of you to try to excuse his behavior in the wedding brain, but really, it’s not an excuse for the way he treats you,” this responder wrote.

“Don’t go to the shower and seriously reflect on this friendship dynamic,” the user added.

Another user had some firm advice about the bridal shower invite.

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“Tell her that you value her friendship and her opinion and that you have therefore decided to let her focus completely on your wedding by not attending any wedding-related events,” said user SuspiciousJuice5825.

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