Four years ago, many high school graduates missed their traditional ceremonies due to the pandemic, and this year, some of those same students missed the opportunity to have their university graduations amid ongoing political protests.
Columbia University and the University of Southern California announced the cancellation of their traditional “main stage” graduation ceremonies for 2024.
Other universities, such as the University of Michigan, saw their ceremonies disrupted by anti-Israel protesters.
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“Regardless of how one feels about the recent protests, it is important to recognize that graduating students and their families and friends were swept up in the wake of the riots in university campus“Zachary Ginder, a psychological consultant in Riverside, California, told Fox News Digital.
While grieving the loss of this celebratory event, some graduates may experience “historic FOMO,” leaving them feeling disappointed, angry, and depressed and anxious about their future as they prepare to enter the real world.
Graduates attend the graduation ceremony at UNC Chapel Hill on Saturday, May 11, 2024. Earlier in the day, students vandalized the chancellor's building in protest of the war between Hamas and Israel. (The direct image for Fox News Digital)
This is what is important to know.
What is 'milestone FOMO'?
Milestone FOMO (fear of missing out) refers to the fear of missing out on important life events or milestones that others may be experiencing or achieving.
“It can also be described as a type of envy in which people see their friends reach important milestones in their lives, such as getting married or buying a houseand this contributes to the person feeling abandoned or not keeping up with their peers,” Nicholette Leanza, a therapist at LifeStance Health in Ohio, told Fox News Digital.
While grieving the loss of a major celebratory event in their lives, some recent graduates may experience “historic FOMO,” leaving them feeling disappointed, angry, depressed, and anxious about their future as they prepare to enter the real world. (iStock)
For graduates, experiencing milestone FOMO can lead to a lower sense of accomplishment, she said.
“We all like to have a reward after hard work, and the pomp and circumstance of a graduation ceremony can be seen as the reward for hard work,” Leanza said.
“So if graduates are not allowed to celebrate their accomplishments, they may feel like all their hard work was diminished and that they missed that rite of passage.”
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For many, a graduation ceremony marks not only the culmination of years of hard work and dedication, but also a critical transition into adulthood and the next phase of life, Ginder said.
“Missing this milestone can lead to feelings of grief and loss, sadness, disappointment and a sense of incompleteness for those involved,” he said.
“If graduates are not allowed to celebrate their achievements, they may feel that all their hard work was diminished and that they missed that rite of passage.”
“It is not too difficult to imagine the anguish some probably felt in working for four or more years to achieve a goal, only to have the culmination and official public recognition dissolved just days before the event.”
Students may feel “deprived of the opportunity” to celebrate their achievements with their peers, teachers and loved ones, Ginder said.
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“The absence of closure and the lack of a tangible marker for this important transition can make it more difficult to process the end of this life chapter and move forward,” she added.
4 Ways to Counter 'Historical FOMO'
For graduates who were unable to attend the ceremony, experts suggested four ways to process and overcome the resulting emotions.
1. Focus on recognizing and accepting emotions.
“Sadness, anger, disappointment and frustration are normal responses to loss,” Ginder told Fox News Digital.
“Graduates must give themselves time to process these emotions, while maintaining perspective that life is a journey with many ups and downs.”
For many, graduation marks not only the culmination of years of hard work and dedication, but also a critical transition into adulthood and the next phase of life, one expert said. (iStock)
Graduation, for many, will not define their college careerGinder pointed out.
“Refocusing on what has been gained, friendships, and positive memories can help people overcome the acute emotional challenges of not being able to graduate.”
2. Challenge and reframe any unhelpful thoughts.
Students who overcome this disappointment may have negative thoughts such as “I will never be able to experience this milestone” or “My achievements no longer matter,” according to Ginder.
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“When these thoughts come to the surface, graduates may try to replace them with more balanced thoughtslike, 'I can find other ways to celebrate my hard work,' or 'my accomplishments are still valuable, even without a traditional ceremony.'”
3. Create your own ceremony
“Hosting a more personal graduation ceremony where close friends and family celebrate your achievement can be a wonderful way to commemorate this special occasion,” Leanza said.
“Dressing in full graduation attire, having loved ones give inspiring speeches, and even walking across a symbolic or improvised stage could help the graduate recognize the achievement.”
“The absence of closure and the lack of a tangible marker for this important transition can make it more difficult to process the end of this life chapter and move forward,” one expert said. (iStock)
If campus is nearby, Ginder suggests visiting family and friends, taking photos, and sharing and appreciating all the good things that happened during school to help ease the pain.
4. Take stock of what has been achieved and gained, not what has been lost
“Human nature is to focus on the negative, and while graduation is an important milestone, it is not the end of your journey,” Ginder said.
While acknowledging loss, graduates can also “hold space for gratitude” for what has been gained and for the good things that exist in the present moment, he added.
“Human nature is to focus on the negative, and while graduation is an important milestone, it is not the end of your journey.”
“If this is difficult for you, try taking steps toward the future, such as setting short- and long-term goals and shifting focus to next steps in life,” Ginder advised.
How parents and loved ones can help
According to Leanza, family members should allow graduates to feel sad and disappointed about the loss.
“Encourage them to talk about it and give them your full attention as they share their feelings with you,” she suggested.
According to experts, family members should allow graduates to feel sad and disappointed about the loss. (iStock)
Encouraging acceptance can also help the graduate process emotions, Leanza said.
“Accepting something doesn't mean you have to like it; it just means you accept the facts of the situation,” he said.
“This acceptance allows you to dedicate energy to dealing with the situation instead of trying to avoid or deny it.”
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Help recent graduates plan their next steps, such as updating their resumes and looking for a job – can be another way to show them support, he said.
Loved ones can also help find another way to celebrate and recognize the graduate's accomplishments, Leanza said, such as hosting a surprise graduation ceremony or party to help lift their spirits.
“We all like to have a reward after hard work, and the pomp and circumstance of a graduation ceremony can be seen as the reward for hard work.” (iStock)
Parents and families can help, Ginder said, by validating graduates' feelings without minimizing or dismissing them, finding alternative ways to celebrate or recognize the accomplishment of graduating, and offering support and encouragement.
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“Everyone handles losses differently,” he said. “While some may not consider it a significant loss, others may find it very difficult to get over.”
For graduates who find it difficult to overcome this problem (and if it begins to interfere with daily functioning and mood), it may be advisable seek professional help from a licensed physician, Ginder said.
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