Of all the decisions faced during a trip to the supermarket: paper, plastic or reusable bags? Self-checkout or human interaction? – one has emerged as the most controversial.
Where do you leave your cart at the end of the shopping trip? It has become something of a stroller enigma.
Leslie Dobson, a Los Angeles-based clinical and forensic psychologist, shared her response in a video posted to TikTok and Instagram last week that generated more than 11 million views as of Monday and a litany of negative reactions.
“I'm not returning my shopping cart and you can judge me all you want. I will not carry my shopping to the car, nor will I put my children in the car and then leave them in the car to go return the cart. So if you're going to give me the stink eye, fuck you,” Dobson said, using an expletive.
Internet was turned off.
People accused her of being an “entitled mother” and called her “lazy.” Others called her “Karen” and some asked why she doesn't take her children with her to return the stroller or lock the car with them inside her while she puts the stroller away.
“Ugh, this is embarrassing for you,” one mother of two wrote on Instagram. “They say returning the stroller is kind of a litmus test, and girl, you failed…”
But Dobson said the video doesn't tell the whole story. She explained in an interview with The Times that she doesn't think women should feel embarrassed about returning their shopping carts if they don't feel the parking lot is safe for them or their children.
Dobson, who has children ages 3 and 7, said she knew the video would be provocative, but she didn't expect the outpouring of anger and judgment from people online. She has even received death threats, she claimed.
I hoped the initial post, and a follow-up video the next day, would get people talking about women who prioritize their own safety. She said her goal was to teach that women should not feel forced to find themselves in an unsafe situation for themselves or their children when returning a shopping cart.
“If you feel insecure, the important thing is to trust your intuition and protect yourself and your loved ones from a social norm or judgment that may come your way,” he told The Times.
But people were downright apoplectic at the idea of Dobson leaving his stroller unrestrained.
Several commenters on his video referenced “shopping cart theory,” which proposes that a person's moral character and ability to self-govern can be determined by whether they return their shopping cart to the designated area or abandon it elsewhere in the parking lot. . batch.
Some online came to their defense, saying that by returning the carts or leaving them in a designated corral they are taking jobs away from those tasked with bringing the carts back to the store.
The public response to the first video was so intense that Dobson followed up with another post on Friday to provide additional context about why he made the video.
“I want to give you some statistics,” he said in the video. “Last year, 265 children were kidnapped from parking lots in the United States. Half of them were sexually assaulted. As a single mother returning your shopping cart, you are ideal for a predator to observe and grab you.”
The nonprofit Kids and Car Safety reported that in the United States in 2022 at least 265 children were kidnapped during carjackings, the highest number in the 10 years of data collection provided on its website. In such circumstances, the person often does not realize that a child is inside the vehicle when they drive away, according to the nonprofit.
Statistics provided by the nonprofit do not specify whether any children were sexually assaulted in such situations. The nonprofit Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network reported that in 2016, Child Protective Services agencies found evidence that more than 57,000 children were victims of sexual abuse. But the majority of sexual abuse reported to authorities was committed by an acquaintance of the child or a family member, according to the nonprofit.
“It may not be hundreds of thousands of trafficked women or stolen cars, but I don't care,” Dobson told the Times. “To me, if it's something we could have avoided, why not? About a shopping cart?
Shopping cart shaming has been an online pastime for years.
The “Cart Narcs” Instagram account is dedicated to confronting people on video in parking lots across the country to report them for not returning their carts. Those who refuse to take their carts back to the corral run the risk of a Cart Narc leaving a magnet on their vehicle that says “I don't return my shopping cart like an idiot.”
Aside from times when she feels insecure, does Dobson give her back her shopping cart?
“Always,” he said, laughing. “And I help others return their carts.”
