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Yes, happy Thursday everyone! Ha ha ha. Okay, everything is fine. They use their power to spy on the right. A new report from the House Judiciary Committee reveals that, under the guise of investigating on Jan. 6, the feds asked banks to search transactions for indicators of homegrown violent extremists.
The problem is, according to Congressman Jim Jordan, the Treasury Department asked banks to conduct the search using terms like “Trump” and “MAGA.” In an effort to track gun purchases, they also asked banks to look up terms like, yeah, I don't know, like “Bass Pro Shops” and “Dick's Sporting Goods.” In other words, if you bought a jockstrap at Dick's, then you could have ended up on a federal target list of domestic violent extremists. Luckily, I knit my own. You need two balls of wool.
'ALARMING' SURVEILLANCE: FEDS ASKED BANKS TO LOOK FOR PRIVATE TRANSACTIONS TERMS LIKE 'MAGA', 'TRUMP'
But domestic violent extremists, that's pretty complicated, right? Why don't we shorten it to what the feds really mean: Republicans? Now, of course, they are using January 6 to justify all of this. They use it to justify everything. They're trying to fit more under that umbrella than Chris Christie on a nude beach. Seriously, I don't think anyone has gotten more out of a single date than they have since Meghan went home with Harry. A bit of British humor.
It is true that January 6 has been milked more than the “Octomom”. There is a callback. But in this case, the excuses are as weak as Joe's urine stream. According to Fox Digital, Treasury's excuse is that the searches actually began under the previous administration, hmmm. Hey guys, I think you're in a hole now, two more shovels full, and Joe and Hunter will be able to talk to their Chinese partners face to face. Because if that's true, if, in fact, Treasury was using search terms like “Trump” and “MAGA” while Trump was still in office, then they were investigating supporters of the current US president, already You know, like John Kerry after Botox. , that's not an improvement.
Now our president heads the executive branch, the Treasury is under that branch, so they were actually conducting an investigation into their own boss. I mean, that's like Kat investigating me and no, she wasn't licking the sweat off your hair extensions. She gets worse.
HOUSE GOP INVESTIGATING BANK OF AMERICA FOR 'VOLUNTARILY' GIVING LIST OF CLIENTS RELATED TO JANUARY 6 TO THE FBI
According to Jordan, Bank of America also gave the FBI a list of people who made credit card transactions in the D.C. area between January 5 and 7, 2021, and customers who had made a historical purchase of a firearm. or they had bought a hotel. , Airbnb or plane trips within a certain date range. Note to self: Always use cash when participating in an insurrection and sleep on Shannon Bream's couch. Bank of America reportedly did all this without seeking a court order, and it's still called Bank of America, more like Stank of America, right? That one occurred to me.
Now, luckily I don't use that bank. I have a Nigerian prince who manages all my money. His name is Charles Payne. Meanwhile, BofA is conducting warrantless searches on behalf of the feds in search terms that are so broad that, by definition, they will find more innocents than targets. This is supposed to be a valid use of the nation's research resources. Just a few months after our cities practically burned down during the Summer of Brotherly Love of 2020. If only they wore red hats, we'd call it a civil war.
In response to these accusations of assisting the FBI, BofA claims, they were acting on instructions from the Treasury. Now is it me, or is this whole thing starting to sound as circular as a Froot Loop? Old-school law enforcement officers call this self-serving investigation a self-licking ice cream cone, which is also the Secret Service code name for Joe Biden. But another term could be unethical or even illegal. It would be like Trump asking Planned Parenthood for all the records of women who had abortions, people who bought electric cars, or people with IQs below 70. Because, in fact, when FBI supervisor Steve Jensen saw this information , allegedly ordered it deleted. of FBI systems because the leads lacked allegations of federal criminal conduct. This might be the understatement of the year, right behind the vomit-inducing “The View.”
HOUSE INVESTIGATION INTO 'WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ON JANUARY 6' ENTER 'NEW PHASE' WITH SUPPORT OF PRESIDENT JOHNSON
So let's ask the FBI a question: You guys are investigating anyone who previously purchased guns and traveled to DC before the inauguration, so did the name Hunter ever come up? Now, I should clarify, I'm referring to the name Hunter and not the noun hunter, or else you'd happily arrest this guy. Yes, that's Donald Trump Jr., on the right.
Federal investigators told banks to look for transactions at certain sporting goods and firearms stores such as Bass Pro Shops. (Google Maps/Google Street View) (Google Maps/Google Street View)
So according to Fox Digital, the FBI has declined to comment, which is the Fed's pitch: Let's move on to November 5th to see if we have to back out, but I don't think any comments are valid at this point. This feels like one of those things that, you know, like anal warts and Joy Reid, just won't go away. Ha! I said show a picture of Joy Reid.
In the meantime, there are lessons here for those of us who may disagree with the administration. If you buy a wiffle bat at Dick's, pay cash. If you eat at Cracker Barrel, wear a costume. If you've ever stood up for the national anthem, watch your back and for the love of God, make sure your tax returns are perfect or maybe it's time to start living your life under the radar, assume an identity that's secure, Registered Democrat, come out as non-binary, send a donation or two to Planned Parenthood, or simply change your name to Biden.
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Hell, you won't even have to pay taxes, but you'll have to pay 10% to dad.
