If I were a relative or close confidant of President Biden, I'm pretty sure I'd give him a hug, thank him for his service, and tell him to seriously consider stepping away.
I would tell him that after a life of service, he can pass the torch with pride, with dignity and with grace.
Someone probably should have done this months ago, out of love or duty, and out of concern that Biden's health would likely worsen in the coming years.
But we're not very good at this sort of thing: at mustering the courage it takes to confront a declining loved one or boss and be totally honest about it. Being polite but firm. I had trouble telling my own father it was time to stop driving. He resisted, either unaware or unwilling to accept the reality of his obvious instability behind the wheel and unwilling to hand over his keys or his pride.
California is about to be hit by a wave of aging, and Steve Lopez is taking advantage of it. His column focuses on the advantages and disadvantages of advancing age, and how some people are challenging the stigma associated with older adults.
According to many reports, people close to Biden have been aware of a decline but have not pressured him to step aside. The New York Times reported Tuesday that in “the weeks and months” leading up to last Thursday’s presidential debate, “several current and former officials and others who met him behind closed doors noticed that he seemed increasingly confused or apathetic, or that he lost the thread of conversations.” There are also reports that people are encouraging him to move on.
There are some analogies with California Senator Dianne Feinstein, who died last year at age 90 after more than 30 years in office. If there was any effort by her inner circle to persuade her to leave the Senate because of her obvious cognitive and physical decline, that effort failed. She died in office after announcing she would not run again.
In some cases, stepping aside is the right thing to do.
This may sound strange to those who have followed my Golden State column over the past 28 months. One of my guiding principles has been to stand firm against the idea that we are incapable of contributing as we age or that our value diminishes.
In recent columns, I have argued, with the help of experts, that you can’t diagnose dementia remotely, though many people have tried to do so in Biden’s case, especially after his debate performance.
I’ve also written that, whatever the cause of his cloudy eyes and occasional gaffes (the medical possibilities are numerous), Biden seemed lost and unstable. He may still have some gas left in the tank, but time is against him. Where will he be in a year, or two, or three, or four?
The world's population is aging rapidly, and more and more people are staying at work longer. While the benefits are many, the risks are real. Bodies and minds break down. It's OK, when that happens, to quit work and move on.
Since the debate, I’ve been thinking about something USC gerontology professor Caroline Cicero told me last year, when I wrote about whether Biden or Feinstein should step aside.
“I’m very concerned about age discrimination in the workplace, but I’m also concerned about people who think they have to work forever,” Cicero said. “I think we need to give people permission to retire.”
She took up that line of thinking again this week.
“Over the past few decades, society has told us we can have it all. In a battle against ageism, we tell people they can work as long as they want,” she said. “In a battle to prove our worth, we tell ourselves we can overcome the normal slowdowns that come with the passage of time.”
But most of us can't.
Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney, both in their 80s, are still going strong, and Warren Buffett, at 93, seems to be doing just fine. But that's the thing about aging, as I've said before: you can be old at 60 and young at 85.
Biden has obvious strengths, chief among them experience, wisdom, decency, civility and the empathy that comes with crushing loss. Those around him, knowing what he’s made of, may not dare question his strength and resolve, even in the face of obvious decline. Sure, his family knows him better than we do, but they may not be able to see what we see from afar.
Some of you may be wondering right now, if I'm interested in having frank discussions about when it's time to leave, why don't I involve the Trump family in this?
He would, but his task is even more difficult than the Biden family’s. What would be the point of telling a convicted felon who continues to insist that he won the 2020 election, “Hey, Dad, the fact-checkers are still recovering from the hard work you gave them at the last debate”? It takes a bit of humility to see the truth about yourself, and when you start listing the qualities that define Donald Trump, humility and truth are not enough.
Former President Trump, debating Biden last week, would be even less inclined to heed any advice to drop out of the race.
(Gerald Herbert/Associated Press)
Biden may find it hard to see himself as anything other than what he is now: a public servant at the top of an organization chart. You can’t be president of the United States without a healthy ego, and in the jobs that people are passionate about — that become their very identity — they often can’t imagine what or who else they might be when they retire, provided they can afford to retire, which many can’t.
These people may not be able to imagine that anyone waiting in the wings is up to the task, and perhaps that is part of Biden’s calculation. If he makes the next exit, who will take his place? And will there be enough time for Vice President Kamala Harris or any of the other possible last-minute candidates to find momentum?
It should never have come to this.
The late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a perfect example of the lessons to be heeded in not giving up your position. She refused to step down from her position when her health deteriorated, and women's reproductive rights took a severe hit as a result.
“I see it in entrepreneurs who have built a business and are having a hard time letting go,” said Helen Dennis, who 25 years ago started a support group called Renewment for successful women who were having trouble imagining the next version of themselves. The group now includes “teachers, nurses, doctors, several lawyers,” all of them leaning on each other as they learn “how to navigate the next chapter.”
Work is not life and life is not work, USC’s Cicero once told me. That concept must be foreign to a sitting president, but I think of former President Jimmy Carter as one of the best examples of those who have found ways to contribute after leaving office. He picked up a hammer and went to work for Habitat for Humanity, and won the Nobel Peace Prize for working toward peaceful solutions to global conflicts.
“People often fear retirement because they don’t want to be labeled old, invisible or insignificant,” Cicero said. And many who are “routine junkies don’t know how they will spend their time without the rigors of a work schedule,” she added, but that “doesn’t mean they have to keep working to have a fulfilling life in the future.”
Biden, after his stumble in the debate, quickly returned to the campaign trail and told his supporters that when you fall, you have to get up and keep fighting.
But Father Time, as they say, is the one who remains undefeated.
I would like to remind Biden that the country and the world have problems that neither he nor Trump can solve, and that if he is re-elected he will be subject to four more years of relentless judgments about his fitness to serve.
I would tell him that at 81, when you get knocked down, you deserve a rest.
And there's no shame in it.
