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Now that the Democratic and Republican national conventions have concluded and students are returning to campus, it is important that we teach our students how to foster unity among themselves.
Without it, we will continue to see dissent, unrest, and conflict on our campuses and across the country. It's easy to point the finger and say it's other people who aren't being peaceful or communicating kindly, but the truth is that it starts with us. If we're not willing to speak kindly to someone who has an opposing viewpoint, how can we expect others to do the same?
As president of Southeastern University, it was important to me that we teach our students the importance of civil discourse. In 2019, we founded the American Center for Public Leadership with former Florida Representative Dennis Ross.
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In his book, “Reaching Across the Aisle: Reflections on My Experiences in Politics,” Ross describes civil discourse as “the process of working across our differences to build working relationships with each other, regardless of whether we change each other's minds, leading to a more unified nation.”
The contentious race between Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump raises challenges for how we teach unity. (Getty Images)
We must model how to speak politely to those who disagree with us and teach our students to do the same. But how?
Below are three ways to practice civic discourse and set an example for our students.
1. Learn to have a conversation
If we want to move toward unity with others, we must be willing to engage in conversation with them. We all want to be heard, especially when we believe strongly in something. However, it is all too easy to ignore the needs of others and instead listen only to find a counterargument or flaw. But if we want to move toward unity, we must begin to truly listen.
Instead of waiting to jump in with your point of view, simply take in what they have to say. Don't offer any rebuttals. When they're done speaking, share your point of view kindly and respectfully, without fighting their arguments.
Our goal shouldn't be to be right, to change someone's mind, or to prove a point. If we really want to establish unity, we should make an effort to see and respect each other. Doing so will allow you to express your thoughts while also listening to what the other person has to say. It's okay to agree to disagree, but by having respectful conversations, you'll show others that you value their opinion and leave the door open for future conversations.
2. Treat others with respect
The Golden Rule is something we're all taught in school. And yet, how often do we put it into practice when speaking to someone we disagree with? We all want to be respected and listened to, but if we're not willing to show kindness and consideration to others, we can't expect them to do the same to us.
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We need to practice honestly appreciating the other person and what they have to say, and being respectful of their thoughts and opinions, even if we don't agree with them. We can't have a “better than” mentality and then be surprised when others think they're better than us or aren't willing to listen because they don't feel heard.
People will adapt to your tone, volume, and emotions. If you take the conversation to a higher level, they will too. Others are more likely to remain calm and respectful during a conversation if you are. And even if they don't, if you remain respectful, you can finish the conversation without regretting your actions or what you said.
Instead of waiting to jump in with your point of view, simply take in what they have to say. Don't offer any rebuttals. When they're done speaking, share your point of view kindly and respectfully, without fighting their arguments.
3. Focus on building relationships
Once you've learned how to have a respectful and genuine conversation with those you disagree with, you can begin to have a real relationship with them. To do this, we must look beyond the issue at hand and see the other person as an individual, not a point of view.
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Take the time to get to know them beyond their point of view. Try to ask questions that don't have to do with politics and get to know them as individuals. What do they do for a living? Do they have children? What do they like to do as a hobby? By doing this, you'll be able to see them as more than just an opponent to beat or someone to defeat in an argument, but as an individual with interests, passions, and feelings.
We are just as responsible as anyone else to speak in a civil and respectful manner, and to take deliberate steps to demonstrate unity. We can remain angry because other people are not being respectful, or we can take responsibility for our own words and actions and start making a difference ourselves. The choice is yours.
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