I recently started losing weight and am having trouble deciding what to wear. It seems silly to invest in clothes before I finally stabilize myself again, but wearing things that are too big not only doesn't look good, it's not psychologically good. Any suggestions? —Paula, Milwaukee
Changes in your body, whether intentional or unintentional, are intrinsically connected to changes in your emotions and your sense of identity, even before you begin to take into account social messages about weight and physical beauty.
Altering your shape can alter your identity in quite essential ways, and since identity is expressed in part through clothing, losing weight (or gaining it) sets off a ripple effect that goes beyond size. It's also about how you communicate who you are to the world: whether you are happy or sad; if you want to undress, hide, arm yourself, adorn yourself; if you want to become a goth, a prepster, a sophisticate, etc.
That means any clothing purchases related to your new size should be made with care and deliberation. Well, that should be true for any clothing purchase, period, but it's especially true when it comes to a different person.
You really need to live in your body for a while before deciding how you want to display it, because what you feel initially may not be what you feel later, and wardrobe can be, as you point out, an investment. Both time and money.
But what to do in the meantime?
It's easy to see fast fashion as a quick fix: a serotonin rush when you're not sure who you are or how you'll be received. After all, it requires less commitment and changing your body not only affects you but also your relationships and how your friends and colleagues see you. Literally. But in the long run, such a stopgap is probably just a waste, in every sense of the word.
According to a Statista study, 23 percent of American women and 19 percent of men buy clothes they never wear. I suppose this is partly because what may seem perfect when you're browsing shopping sites at night or using your phone while taking the subway can also seem, in the harsh reality of every day, awkward and obvious. So it is relegated to the back of the closet or landfill, never to be seen again.
As for alternatives, I asked Inés de la Fressange, the famous chic designer and former model, what she would suggest. “Men's clothing is the solution to everything,” she said.
Specifically, he advises investing in a classic button-down shirt from a brand like Hilditch & Key (“roses are usually on sale”), which you can then wear however you want: oversized and loose, perhaps with some comfortable leggings. a variety of body shapes, and then belted, tucked in or even tied.
Along with the shirt, he suggested a pair of loose-fitting khaki pants that can be worn on the hips or cinched at the waist with a belt or scarf and a good unlined jacket or coat to add a little flare. Just make sure whatever you choose fits on the shoulders.
Kate Lanphear, T magazine's women's style director, also recommended investing in a jacket, though she suggested pairing it with a knit wrap dress (the kind made famous by Diane von Furstenberg) that can be adjusted to your needs.
The point is: these are pieces that transcend size and provide a baseline upon which to build. When you are ready.
Your style questions, answered
Each week on Open Thread, Vanessa will answer a reader's fashion-related question, which you can submit to her anytime via email either Twitter. The questions are edited and condensed.
