Dazed by an unrequited relationship with a bartender-actor and tired of being a broke substitute teacher-actor, I decided to take a full-time teaching job in Pacoima. I was overcome with trepidation and wondered if I was ready to give up on my dreams of acting and becoming a high school English teacher. Like any endeavor I set out to do, I gave it my all despite the relentless sarcasm and procrastination of my students.
One day during class, a whole stack of newspapers was brought to my room. I didn't order them nor did I want my rowdy students to get their hands on them so I could make paper airplanes and who knows what else. Suddenly, Steve, the seventh-grade math teacher, ran into my room looking for that stack of Los Angeles Times. I asked him to leave me a copy so I could read it during my lunch break and told him he could have the rest. He apparently used them for some kind of financial literacy lesson.
After that, every week he brought me a copy. I wanted to believe that Steve's actions were a nice, kind gesture. But at 30, I was fed up and thought he was being manipulative in trying to get a date with me. He was right and wrong.
Since I was a newbie in school, I wanted to meet everyone, so I organized a dinner with my colleagues at a fun rock 'n' roll sushi bar on Lankershim Boulevard. Steve was obsessed with sushi, so he attended and we sat across from each other, vibing to the loud music and talking and flirting all night. Tokyo Delve's was crazy that night with great rock music, and I went crazy and danced on the chairs. I hoped my coworkers, especially Steve, wouldn't think I was too enthusiastic.
At the end of the evening, Steve and I hugged and then I said to our mutual friend, “I think Steve is really cute. Will you give him my number? He laughed and said he would be happy to play matchmaker.
Steve called the next week and left a voicemail inviting me out for the weekend. I called him to say yes. Then I didn't hear anything from him. I thought that this quiet, unassuming teacher would be different from the bad actors and musicians he usually hung out with and that he would really deliver. I was disappointed and my mother and I commiserated over the possibility of having met another avoidant guy.
It turns out that Steve had unexpectedly embarked on an affair with his brother and then apologized to me. I gave him another chance.
I'm very glad I did it. After our first date in Pasadena, we were inseparable. We introduced ourselves to our dogs and both sets of families got along very well. When the landlord announced that he was selling his house and that I would have to move out of the guest house, Steve bravely offered that he could move me into his house. But we had only been dating for three months.
Things were difficult at first because we didn't really know how to set boundaries or communicate well. She hated that I left detergent granules all over the washer and garage floor. It exasperated me that I couldn't cook anything at all, not even scrambled eggs!
Other than those things, no one has ever made me laugh like Steve does. He is warm and caring and would do anything for anyone in his life. I once joked early in our relationship, “Wow, you're mature, kind, responsible, and loving, so you should No Be the one for me!
I wasn't used to being treated with respect and kindness, and he certainly wasn't used to this crazy, vibrant rock 'n' roller girl who loved going to concerts at the Forum and the Troubadour and eating pizza at the Rainbow.
We found a way to make our opposites attract and were married on July 8, 2000 at a gorgeous outdoor restaurant in Ojai after three years of dating. Steve's proposal was cute and unconventional. He knelt down and encouraged my dog, Destiny, to run toward me. On her neck was the engagement ring.
At first we weren't sure we wanted to have children, but then we decided we had a lot of love and compassion to give, so we tried. After three brutal miscarriages, we were physically and emotionally exhausted. Many of my friends were having babies and were happy to start their new families. It just didn't seem fair that two strong, loving teachers who gave so much to the world could be left so devastated for two years.
Steve and I always found Las Vegas our special oasis where we could forget about our worries. In January 2002 we stayed at what used to be the Hard Rock Hotel. We bought tickets to see my favorite band, Aerosmith, from the front row of the Joint. It was exhilarating and just what we needed to recover.
As for expanding our family, my OB/GYN suggested taking progesterone for the fourth try. That would really be my last attempt to get pregnant. It worked and resulted in our beautiful rainbow baby, Logan! Now she is a dazzling, feisty and compassionate 21-year-old who brings us indescribable joy.
Steve is retired from teaching, but I found my passion in teaching and I still go to work every day trying to instill knowledge and influence the lives of my amazing high school students. I no longer leave the laundry a mess and Steve makes the most delicious scrambled eggs.
The author is an English teacher at Mission View Public Charter in Valencia. She lives with her husband, her daughter Logan (when she returns from university) and two dogs in Valencia. She is on Facebook: facebook.com/keri.leiner
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