He said having sex with me was like eating salad. Excuse me?


The metaphor sent me into a spiral.

"He said things like:

"I was thinking about it for months.  In the end we broke up."

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"'What kind of salad do you think it would be?'  I asked my friends weeks after the breakup...I had to know."

Illustrations of Harvest Bowl by Sweetgreen, Wedge by Musso & Frank, Papaya Salad by Jitlada and DIY Salad.

"I didn't have sex for a year... All I knew was that I didn't want to feel like someone was controlling me.

"Three years later, there it was.  Fragranced with dill and parsley, sprinkled with preserved lemon pieces.  The Green Goddess."

"For the first time in a long time I was the one who decided: This is delicious."

"I smiled.  In front of me was someone new.  We savor every bite."

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The author is a writer and cartoonist based in Los Angeles. She is the author of “Drawn Together: Illustrated True Love Stories” (Voracious, 2022). She is on Instagram: @dibujoolive

Los Angeles Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the Los Angeles area, and we want to hear your true story. We paid $400 for a publication. 950 to 1000 words rehearsal. (We occasionally work with artists and cartoonists on illustrated stories.) Email your essay to [email protected]. You can find shipping guidelines. here. You can find previous columns. here.

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