This is Jennifer Lopez… post-divorce.
The “Let's Get Loud” singer and “Hustlers” star didn't have a brat summer or a hot girl summer, for that matter. No. Her “whole world exploded” during that tumultuous but transformative season in which she was dogged by speculation about her marriage to Ben Affleck, canceled her concert tour and filed for divorce from the Oscar winner after two years of marriage.
Opening up for the first time since the split, the pop superstar said she's been working on self-love and discovering herself.
“It's looking back at the underlying feelings and belief systems that we have about ourselves that cause us to make certain decisions and create certain patterns in our lives,” he told comedian Nikki Glaser in an interview with Interview magazine. published on Wednesday. “And then when you get to a point where you think you've learned your lesson, and then it blows up in your face again, you realize, 'Okay, I haven't learned it, so what do I need?' learn? look right now?' I would say never stop looking inward, because it is very easy to blame others.”
The Grammy winner did not mention Affleck by name, but alluded to the split and her past relationships throughout the chat. She also remained introspective, noting that after the January release of her Prime Video film “This Is Me… Now” and completing her latest film, “Unstoppable,” she felt good. Then, his world “exploded.” He canceled his summer tour and his fourth marriage ended in divorce, not to mention the Internet buildup on Bennifer 2.0 that made him available to the public.
But she doesn't regret the pain – “not for a second” – even though it almost killed her forever, she said. Looking back, he thinks it's “exactly what I needed.”
“[Y]You have to be healthy. You have to be complete if you want something more complete,” he said. “You have to be good on your own. I thought I had learned that, but I didn't. And then this summer I had to say, 'I need to go away and be alone.' I want to prove to myself that I can do that.'”
López, 55, admitted that it has been “very difficult,” as well as “lonely, unknown, scary, sad… desperate.” But because those feelings haven't killed her, she said, she realized that she is capable of feeling joy and happiness on her own.
“Being in a relationship does not define me. I can't look for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within me. I used to say I'm a happy person, but I was still looking for something that someone else could fill, and it was like, 'No, I'm actually good.'”
The star of “The Wedding Planner” and “Maid in Manhattan” explained that she used to feel like she had to be perfect to be loved, but now she feels like “someone who really loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself.” The admission seemed to be a departure from the hopeless romantic that came across in many of her projects.
“That's what I've learned about love, that it's a sure thing. You make me feel safe, and when I fail to achieve glory, you understand me and help me grow to be better, because you have your limits and I have mine. And I say, 'This is where you're falling short for me and this is where I'm falling short for you.' And so, together we improve in those things,” he said.
Lopez said she learned a long time ago that everything that is written or said about her or “conjectures about who I am as a person, is not who I am.”
Meanwhile, the “Waiting for Tonight” singer also said she can't wait to get back to performing for her fans, who she felt she let down when she canceled her tour.
“I just needed to be with my kids and myself and really dig into the things that were happening in my life. And I'm glad I did, because it was a really difficult time for me. “Probably the most difficult moment of my life, but it was also the best because I had to work on myself.”
