Eric Dane said he first shut down emotionally when he was just 7 years old, coping with the sudden death of his father from a gunshot wound in the bathroom of his family's home.
It wasn't until his ALS diagnosis decades later that the seasoned actor felt his own spirit returning, Dane said in an interview published Friday on Netflix. The actor died Thursday at age 53 after a public battle with the disease. The nearly hour-long interview, filmed in November, is part of the documentary series “Famous Last Words,” which features posthumous interviews with notable figures; the first focused on conservationist Jane Goodall and was published two days after her death.
The actor spoke candidly about his debilitating illness, saying it “made me a little softer, a little more open.” The intimate conversation was led by television producer Brad Falchuk, executive producer of “Famous Last Words.”
“The only thing I have left is me,” Dane said. “It's kind of a fucked up way to realize that you were enough all along, when everything is taken away from you and all you have left is this person.”
In the episode, Dane speaks slurredly and sits in a motorized wheelchair while talking to Falchuk. He is thoughtful and responsive throughout as he reflects on his life and career, which spanned more than three decades.
“I didn't think this would be the end of the road for me. This was never part of the story I created for myself,” Dane said.
The actor described himself as a complainer during the interview, adding that “historically I've always been the guy who complained and complained when I did anything, but my spirit has been surprisingly quite optimistic throughout this journey.”
A last message to his daughters
Dane looked directly into the camera in the final minutes of the Netflix special, his voice shaking as tears welled in his eyes. He directed his parting words to his two daughters, Billie, 15, and Georgia, 14, and shared four lessons he learned from ALS.
“Billie and Georgia, you are my heart. You are my everything. Good night. I love you. Those are my last words,” Dane said.
Dane married Rebecca Gayheart, the mother of his children, in 2004 and the couple separated in 2017, although the divorce was never finalized. However, they maintained a friendship after their separation and Dane said he had “never fallen in love with another woman as deeply as I fell in love with Rebecca.”
Dane said he spent most of his life “wallowing and worrying about self-pity, shame and self-doubt.” But with ALS, he was “forced to stay in the present,” he said, and encouraged his daughters to do.
Eric Dane, left, talking with Brad Falchuk about “Famous Last Words.”
(Courtesy of Netflix)
“I don't want to be anywhere else. The past contains regrets. The future remains unknown, so we have to live now,” Dane said. “The present is all you have. Treasure it. Cherish every moment.”
Dane also encouraged her daughters to fall in love, not just with people, but with something “that makes you want to get up in the morning,” she said. For Dane, that love was acting, which “ultimately got me through my darkest hours, my darkest days, my darkest year,” he said.
The actor, who spoke openly about his struggle with addiction, had been sober for nine years before turning to drugs and alcohol again during a writers' strike that halted production on “Grey's Anatomy” in 2007.
Dane told her daughters that they inherited her resilience and urged them to “fight with every ounce of your being and with dignity.”
Dane added: “This disease is slowly taking over my body, but it will never take over my spirit.”
The ALS diagnosis brought peace
Aside from throwing some punches at people who “deserved it,” Dane said he had no crazy confessions to make as the interview came to a close.
“I've never murdered anyone, Brad,” the actor joked with Falchuk.
The actor assured that he lived a life full of fun, whether healthy or not. His fruitful career took off with his role as Dr. Mark “McSteamy” Sloan on “Grey's Anatomy.” The gig began as a one-off guest role, but “ignited such intense fan hysteria,” Falchuk said, that the show was rewritten to make Dane the lead.
Dane further cemented his legacy when he played Cal Jacobs in “Euphoria,” a complicated character who leads a double life, which Dane said he identified with. “I know what it's like to not have my insides match my outsides,” he said, referring to his long battle with drug and alcohol addiction.
His ALS diagnosis freed him from a constant state of self-criticism, Dane said, and helped him realize that he was always “absolutely more than enough.”
“I hope I've shown that you can face anything. You can face the end of your days, you can face hell, with dignity,” he said.
