He may not have arrived home yet, but football is sure to burst through the door with a set of keys in hand. Will he make it through the front door this time? Time will tell, when England take on a very good Spanish side in the Euro 2024 final in Berlin on Sunday night. And I will be there.
In front of the TV, of course. Fingers dug into the arms of the sofa, cheering, screaming at Gareth Southgate to take off the ridiculously overrated Jude Bellingham and put on Cole Palmer, Ollie Watkins and Ivan Toney. You can watch the Euro 2024 final for free on the BBC and ITV, and I’ll choose ITV at 6.30pm BST. Why? Well, because it’s on primetime, but for other reasons too. I’ll tell you…
More than 21 million people tuned in to ITV to watch the semi-final win over Holland, but it wasn't just because of the vivid descriptive skills of lead commentator Sam “What's the” Matterface – the BBC didn't show the match live. This time we have a choice of broadcasters, and I'll stick with ITV.
I think Matterface and his informed, pub-type approach simply outshines that of the BBC's Guy Mowbray, who always seems only too willing to please whatever commentator he's assigned to.
We can live with that when that someone is Alan Shearer (who uttered the line of the tournament so far at the end of the shoot-out against Switzerland: “Pressure? What pressure? Pressure is for the tyres!”), but Danny Murphy and Martin Keown? Not so much.
The first one has everything the joy of living of an undertaker, while the latter talks about football as if he were testifying before a government inquiry. I wish Keown would approach it the way he played: direct, no-holds-barred, life-or-death.
ITV's Matterface may occasionally have the super-excitable and always cheerful Ally McCoist alongside him (not always a good thing when you're already on edge), but Lee Dixon is a non-controversial foil who allows the lead to focus on the events at hand. But best of all is Andros Townsend, who is proving to be an absolute natural behind the microphone: confident, interesting and illuminating. Fingers crossed.
Euro 2024 final, BBC vs ITV: experts
Of course, the BBC has a huge advantage among Euro 2024 final pundits. Not so much because of the sheer array of pundits at its disposal (anyone remember Frank Lampard? No, although his face after Gary Lineker pointed out his bald head early in the tournament was priceless), but because of the fact that they have no advertising to get around it.
For some of us, adverts are a good thing – time to pop open another bottle and take stock of the previous average – but for others they are a waste of analytical time. But that, of course, depends on who you ask for their opinion. And who you ask for it from. Lineker remains a peerless presenter, while Mark Pougatch needs Laura Woods to keep viewers engaged if they are to put up with the former’s Brian Moore impersonation for much longer.
Wayne Rooney (who would have thought he would work so well? At least he has TV to back him up when he gets sacked by Plymouth in November), David Moyes, Rachel Corsie, Cesc Fabregas and Thomas Frank have all been brilliant for the BBC during the Euros, while Roy Keane/Ian Wright/Gary Neville Marx Brothers The tribute act (with Keane as Groucho, obviously) is as reliably entertaining as ever.
Keane, with his bushy beard, continues his role as a world-weary while waiting to be impressed (mainly by the observations of other pundits). Wrighty is the most emotional of England fans and Neville channels all our frustrations at Gareth Southgate's risk-averse tactics, until they turn out to be beneficial.*
ITV refereeing expert Christina Unkel has also been a very successful addition. It seemed a bit like a Superbowl at first, but she has grown into her role. She was spot on with England's penalty against Holland. Absolutely, categorically it was NOT a penalty. But we'll take it.
Karen Carney is always a great choice for ITV too. So overall, not much choice between the channels on the punditry front, so maybe I'll switch channels a bit on Sunday. Keown on the joint announcements? Hello ITV. Mark Pougatch trying to serve up more word soup? Back to the BBC. England penalties? Panic. Flick. Flick. Flick.
* NOTE TO ITV MANAGERSBehind-the-scenes shots of non-Keane members of the team celebrating England's win worked once; we don't need them every time.
Euro 2024 final, BBC vs ITV: broadcast quality
If viewing figures for those tuning in to watch England fail to beat Italy in the Euro 2020 final are any guide, UK broadcasters are confidently expecting more than 30 million viewers for this game, with industry experts noting that “a fifth of viewers typically choose to watch ITV rather than the BBC”. [on occasions such as these]”.
In other words, the BBC will split the game 80-20, but surely the talent roster and earlier start time mean the independent channel will offer a bigger share than that. Which brings us to the quality of the live broadcast.
With many more people tuning into the BBC than ITV, the live broadcast on ITVX is likely to be less cluttered and that will attract many, often younger, viewers who will be watching via devices other than a TV.
Surely, given the extra costs and infrastructure involved, UEFA (responsible for all aspects of the Euros) has toned down its Ultra HD for Euro 2020 and abandoned native 4K production this year. Instead, it will offer its broadcast partners a 1080p HD feed with HDR. Have you noticed that there are no adverts for 4K (or even 8K) TVs during the ad breaks? That’s why.
The BBC could have opted to upgrade the technical quality of its UEFA Euro 2024 broadcast to 4K internally, but it decided not to. Your TV will have to do the work.
Either way, he'll be coming home!
But does the quality of the live broadcast matter on occasions like this? Wouldn't you watch it on an old black and white, 525-line CRT, 12″ screen, wood-effect-cased portable TV in the kitchen (kids, your parents ask) if there was no other way to watch England end 58 years of pain?
Of course you do. Would you care what channel you're watching when Harry Kane lifts that big, beautiful trophy? Absolutely not. We've waited long enough, let's move on, shall we?!
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