Google’s AI will help you “be more productive” at writing thank-you notes, Google’s vice president of devices and services Rick Osterloh said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal’s Joanna Stern ($/£). Osterloh says ditching the pen and switching to digital thank-you notes helped him write “10 times more emails than handwritten thank-you notes.” In the future, AI will help us write exponentially more thank-you notes in even less time.
Doesn't that make you sad? The problem is the impersonal nature of such a function. Google's AI can do the things a human can do, but it's not the things themselves that matter, but doing them.
Like many people, I hate writing thank you notes. I love receiving gifts and saying thank you, but writing thank you notes turns a special occasion into a chore. Still, on special occasions I write the notes, because I've received thank you notes myself and I know how good it feels.
Receiving a thank you note is the ideal outcome of a gift, aside from the pleasure of giving, of course. When I receive a handwritten thank you note, I don't see words on the paper. I see the time it took to write them. I see the effort of finding special stationery, searching for stamps in the junk drawer, and mailing the letter to a real-world mailbox.
Writing 100 thank you notes after my wedding was exhausting work – thinking of something unique and personal to say to everyone. But they’re not strangers. They’re friends, cousins, colleagues, and loved ones. You know: people, relationships, that kind of human stuff.
When I receive a thank you card after someone else's wedding and it's two lines of text that barely acknowledge our connection (a life-giving proof of a gift), I feel honored and happy. I know the effort it takes and I'm grateful that they're doing it for me.
Being human is an experience, not a result
How many times are we going to have the same conversation, Google? Stop taking the humanity out of my human life. I don't want an AI that writes thank you cards, because there is no humanity in it. I don't want an AI that creates fake memories in the form of photographs. I feel sad when humans promote these benefits of AI.
I have the same problem with Google’s latest camera trick. The Pixel 9’s new Add Me camera feature worked really well in my experience and solves a real problem. If you’re with a group of people and want to take a group photo, the photographer is left out of the photo. Add Me can add you to group photos using AI.
As a human being, I tend to ask other people to take a photo of me and my group, and I've never met anyone who refused to do so. Fortunately, Google has fixed this problem.
@techradar ♬ Narration – Adriel
Once you're done, you'll have an Add Me photo. There you are, standing next to the group. Now, imagine how you'll feel looking at that photo five years from now, or ten years from now, or so far into the future that you can't remember everyone's name. I promise you'll get to that point sooner than you'd like.
A real group photo makes you feel a real connection with people. I remember when a group of us took a photo at Dorney Park amusement park in Pennsylvania. I remember standing in the back, because I'm tall, and hugging the shorter people in front of me. I wish I had taken my hat off, because you can't see my face, but it was there.
I remember being there and that is important. In fact, that is the only important thing.
Even if I’ve forgotten the names of the people in the photo, I’ll still have the feeling of being there. If I use Google’s Add Me feature, what will I feel? The time I stood alone while my friend used a Google Pixel 9 to add me? I won’t remember how it felt standing in the back, hugging people, that’s for sure, because I’ll be alone.
Here's a picture of me and a celebrity I've never met.
Google's example for Add Me is even worse. You can take a photo of your friend with a celebrity, Google suggests, and then add yourself. On stage at the Made By Google event, Google used Add Me with Miami Heat superstar Jimmy Butler. One presenter stood next to Jimmy Buckets, while the other took a photo. The photographer then used Add Me to add himself to the photo.
We all know how this feature will actually be used. I'll see Chris Rock crossing the street in Manhattan and take a photo with Add Me. I'll then add myself to the photo, making it look like Chris Rock and I are crossing the street together.
Sorry Chris Rock, I'm just using you as an example because I actually saw you crossing the street once and I DID NOT take a picture to try and add myself later. That would have been sad. And what would I say when I showed that picture to people?
“Here's Chris Rock and I!”
“Oh, have you met Chris Rock?”
“No, but I took a photo and then added myself using Google's 'Add Me'.” See?
Sad.
I used to say that these AI features were creepy, but now I've realized that they make me sad more than anything.
After sending 100 thank you emails, written entirely by Gemini AI, will I feel satisfied? Will I feel like I have thanked someone?
So what happens next time I receive a thank you email? Will it have the same impact? If I think it was written by an AI, could it have any impact?
An AI can write a note, but it won’t be a thank you note. Google’s AI can add you to a group photo, but it won’t make you feel like part of the group. These AI tools won’t do what their creators claim they will do, because they claim to help us with our human needs, but – and I’ll say it again – there is no humanity in AI.
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