On social media, most of us don't think much about what we're doing when we “like,” scroll, and swipe across our screens. But I study how Americans interact with these platforms. While researching my new book, I spoke to women and girls across the country about how social media is affecting their lives. What I learned is not pretty. Still, we can improve the lives of women online by radically rethinking who we follow, what we share, and what we do when we witness online abuse.
One woman I interviewed, who asked to be called Vivian, told me she developed an eating disorder as a teenager after falling down an Instagram rabbit hole, consuming toxic “fitspiration” content. Now in her mid-twenties, she works as a personal trainer and has realized that the so-called “Instagram body” (you know: flat stomach, big hips) often requires surgery. But her clients keep taking pictures of influencers and saying they want to look like these people.
Social media isn't just giving women unrealistic standards for themselves. It is also inviting the world to judge women more than ever. Now, when a photo of a woman is posted online, whether it's in public view or not, social media provides a forum for people to weigh in with (often vicious) comments about her appearance and, let's not forget , whether it is authentic or “fake.” Cornell professor Brooke Erin Duffy has shown how the so-called “authenticity surveillance” of people by analyzing their appearance and behavior is a practice typically reserved for women.
Social media is also having a dramatic effect on how women are treated offline. Dating apps, for example, give the impression that there are always more people to contact. When people think they have options, they value their romantic partners less. This may help explain why the women I interviewed kept complaining that the men they matched with treated them terribly.
That's when his matches turned out to be real people. Women told me that they regularly fish online. This occurs when a scammer typically makes up a fake identity, establishes an emotional relationship with someone on an app, and then asks the target person for something like cash to fly to see them or help them invest their money (before disappearing with them). . Cybercriminals view dating women as vulnerable due to popular stereotypes that women are emotionally needy and desperate for relationships.
On social media, mothers are also targets of misinformation designed to exploit our vulnerabilities. Astute predators know that mothers of children with severe autism who find it difficult to leave the house, for example, are often isolated, desperate for help and searching online. That makes them good targets for purchasing quack essential oil “cures” (at high prices, of course). And women and girls also encounter the mother lode of misogyny and hate online, from rape threats to “jokes” about the violent abuse of women that have become a problem. common part of online youth culture.
People often ask me why women should use social media if it is so harmful. The reason is that these platforms are also places where we can empower ourselves, whether by promoting our work, giving our opinion on topics that matter to us, or fostering relationships with friends who support us.
But it's not simple. When women use social media to boost our careers, we often end up with less followers, republications and resulting opportunities than the men in our fields. Part of the problem is that men are still the ones people turn to for experience.
It is up to all of us to recognize this implicit bias and follow and amplify more women's posts. Start by following 10 other women. If you are looking for experts on a particular topic, she source, a database maintained by Women's Media Center, offers great lists of women who tend to be active on social media. On my own website, I also published a list of “feminists to follow” to begin with.
We also need to change what we do when we witness sexism and misogyny online. It's generally not a good idea to respond to trolls, as engaging with content sends a signal to algorithms that people want to see more. But it's a good idea to have offline conversations with people you know when you see them posting degrading or dismissive content toward women. Tell them why they are wrong.
Additionally, many women don't want more attention paid to their abuse with things like defensive comments. But a good way to respond, if you see a woman attacked online, is to post positive things about her, such as praise for something she did in her career on LinkedIn, which could be seen by hiring managers, or posts about things that she has written or written. produced on social networks like X and Instagram to help promote her work.
We must also report content we see that violates the platforms' community standards directly to the platforms. While tech companies are known for not responding to these reports or telling women that the rape threat they received did not violate the rules, it is still a way of registering our discontent; and if more of us did this, companies might pay attention.
Finally, we should rethink what we share on social media. Instead of the latest memes, post about topics that affect your life and like other women and repost when they do too. If we all did this, we could radically change social media to be places that empower women.
Kara Alaimo is an associate professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University, where she created the university's academic programs in social media. She is the author of “On influence: why social media is toxic for women and girls and how we can take it back.” @karaalaimo
