When Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that our unalienable rights include life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, had a very specific vision definition of happiness He believed that happiness was the result of living virtuously, and that to become a fully happy human being it was necessary to dedicate oneself to the service of others.
His words inspired generations of Americans to seek their own personal well-being. Yet the happiness we seek today is far from what Jefferson imagined. It puts us at odds with ourselves and with others.
Modern Americans have been conditioned to believe that happiness is something we obtain for ourselves, by ourselves, through the attainment of material wealth, personal success, and individual gratification. I call this belief Old Happy. It is driven by systems of individualism, capitalism, and domination that have fueled our culture for generations.
Growing up in this individualistic culture, we are taught to see ourselves as… Separate yourself from other peopleWe are taught that happiness comes from focusing more and more on ourselves and that we can hone and grow this happiness through personal achievements. This doesn't work. In a 2015 studyResearchers sought to understand why Americans who aggressively sought happiness were, in fact, more likely to feel lonely and depressed. This was because they believed that focusing on themselves was the secret to finding happiness.
This belief is reinforced by the difficulties of living in our happy old society culture. We have no social safety net and we are the only developed nation. That does not offer a paid family leave policy, although Years of research has discovered that the happiest countries are the most egalitarian. We have the The largest number of billionaires and millionaires from any country, who could collectively use their power and resources to permanently end the struggles of millions of Americans. We ignore decades of research showing that the conditions in which people are born, grow, live, work and age influence up to 80% of their well-being, while telling people to “think their way” to happiness. In a culture like this, it can seem like we have no choice but to retreat even further into our own self-interest.
The data speaks to the devastating impact of Old Happy. In March, according to Gallup data in the “World Happiness Report,” the United States He fell out of the top 20 of the ranking For the first time, one in four Americans struggling with their mental health. Fifty percent of Americans They say they are aloneDriven by the unshakable feeling that something is deeply wrong with our society, we search for something to blame, be it technology, generational differences, or any other moral panic, all the while ignoring the root cause of our misery.
Believing we are separated is What separates us from happiness. True happiness is collective. It is the experience of being connected to others, of participating in relationships of reciprocity, of knowing oneself to be a necessary and useful part of a greater whole. The path to true well-being is not to elevate oneself, but to use the self to do good for others. Shifting our perception of happiness to this interconnectedness will help us.
While we have tentatively began to recognize the effects While we have not used this awareness to change our culture, we must affirm and act on the fact that our relationships sustain us and that most moments of our lives demonstrate our dependence on each other.
The ice cream you enjoyed last night was made possible by those who created the flavor, tested the recipe, maintained food safety, designed the packaging, marketed the brand, and shipped it to your store.
The great day you had yesterday was the result of positive feedback from your boss, an interesting project that benefited your clients, and a fun happy hour with your colleagues.
Even if you think about something you did on your own — say, facing one of your fears — there was someone else who helped make that moment possible: the parents who instilled a certain courage in you, the friend who checked in with you beforehand, the therapist who helped you process your emotions.
Treating dependence on others as a defect leads us to lose one of the most reliable sources of happiness: contributing to interconnection.
Many studies have shown the profound ways in which helping other people benefits us, affecting Our physical health, longevity and happinessEven those who suffer benefit. A recent studyResearchers divided people with depression and anxiety into three groups for a five-week program. The first group was taught how to challenge their automatic negative thoughts. The second group was told to plan social activities each week. The third group was instructed to do three acts of kindness a day, twice a week. It was the third group that saw the greatest improvement in well-being, both five weeks and ten weeks later.
If we contributed our knowledge, talent and humanity to our collective happiness rather than to the pursuit of personal wealth, power and fame, we would probably also achieve personal happiness.
Our old happy culture did not emerge out of nowhere. Humans, acting under this misconception of happiness, made it that way. This has contributed to some of the biggest problems we collectively face, including climate change, inequality, and injustice. But all is not lost. We have the power to reorient ourselves toward the promise Jefferson wrote about: a country where all You can be happy.
Stephanie Harrison is the founder of The New Happy and author of “New Happy: How to achieve happiness in a world that has it wrong.”
