A pair of jeans. Those were the only pants my cousin brought when he came to spend a summer with my family in the early 2000s. He had moved several times in his young life and had clearly learned to live frugally. He was excited about his visit as he watched him unpack.
Zach wasn't the only visitor my parents hosted when I was young. They also opened our house periodically to two missionaries from a group that provides shelter to Roma children. I clearly remember one visit when we were introduced to the card game Golf. It was a challenging game and normally I would have been frustrated, but with them I laughed, probably because I knew they wouldn't be around forever. I dreaded the departure of the guests and longed for another person living what I considered a daring life to interrupt my seemingly normal life. Now, as an adult, I work from home and spend most of my days in quiet solitude.
A 2022 survey noted that 70% of remote workers don't feel they are able to socialize enough, and about half said they are likely to leave their jobs due to loneliness. Reinforcing this feeling, about 25% of people worldwide Experiencing regular feelings of confinement.
One recipe for this modern epidemic is to open the doors to guests. While some do this to earn extra income, others simply enjoy practicing hospitality and inviting interesting experiences with strangers and friends alike. Even Airbnb Hosts Offering More and More Private Rooms and more and more tenants choose this option.
My aunt, who owns a beach house on Tybee Island, Georgia, has repeatedly suggested that I work from there. Although I visit annually, it is always on a temporary basis. far from work. Regardless of the reasons her guests come, she says the real benefits of hosting are the relationships she builds by doing so.
in a study Regarding the intimacy that can form between strangers who share a home, sociologist Maria Törnqvist discovered that residents of the same house, whether temporary or permanent, communicate with each other organically. She describes interactions between housemates as “elastic.”,“ Deep conversations often occur when at least one person is in the middle of a task, such as making dinner or doing laundry. Naturally an “intimate atmosphere” is created. Simply put, sharing a home can bring excitement to otherwise monotonous situations.
This is reflected in the popularity of Couchsurfing app, a platform with 14 million members that offers free stays in the hope that travelers will connect with different people on their trips, creating unique social encounters for hosts and guests. In addition to offering a place to stay, some hosts offer to share local experiences, such as a vegetarian tofu “meat” tour in Prague, surfing in Costa Rica, and running an organic farming cooperative in Portugal.
While opening up your home creates opportunities to form new relationships, it's important to set boundaries. It may take some time for hosts to learn what works best for them. Right after my aunt bought her beach house, she welcomed guests back to back. But she soon realized that she and her family needed periods of time to themselves and she began making sure to keep her visitors at least two weeks apart. She made another rule after a stay: no Cheetos in the bedroom.
Routinely providing living space to others elicits instinctive physiological reactions in hosts, including increased adrenaline levels derived from the excitement and uncertainty generated by a cohabitant. This hormonal influx can last the entire stay, increasing anxiety, Nicholette Leanza, a therapist, told me. One must be prepared to face the occasional bad experience. Maya Manseau, a grief guide who works from home, regularly invites others to stay with her. A situation went wrong and she finally asked her guests to leave her. Despite this case, she continues to open her doors, with arrangements ranging from a few weeks to years.
The evidence shows that being generous makes people happier, improves psychological health and can lengthen life expectancy. It can be a small act, like complimenting a stranger, or something more intense, like volunteering time, space, or money. And because we learned during the pandemic that face-to-face communication is better for our mental stability than digital connectionsIt stands to reason that altruistic acts have a greater impact on the brain when performed in person.
Those interested in trying an “open door policy” can connect with potential guests through Couchsurfing, a local church or nonprofit, or by spreading the word among family and friends. Airbnb also allows free, temporary and emergency accommodation offers in times of crisis, and those using the Vrbo vacation rental platform can set a very low rate and refund guests later. Taking money out of the equation promotes mutual psychological benefits, but it's safer to start with guests vetted by an app or recommended by someone you trust.
I recently bought a house with three bedrooms. One will serve as my designated office for my remote work, another is where I'll sleep, and the third, well, I can't wait to see what guests will inhabit it and hear the stories they'll share.
Natalie Bickel is a writer based in Indiana.
