A common debate when planning a wedding is whether or not to allow children and how to handle some guests who might not support the concept of a child-free wedding.
In a recent Reddit post shared on the popular “Am I the Asshole?” subreddit, a woman explained that her sister was getting remarried and having a childless wedding, but that she was the only person on both sides of the aisle. the family that there was a child.
“Yesterday we received their wedding invitation and to my surprise it said that the wedding will not have children and that my son is not invited,” the Reddit post read. “My son is 17 and soon to be 18. By the way, my daughter is the only one under 18 in our family (and the groom's family), so she is the only one excluded.”
She then called her sister to confirm if she was “serious” about not allowing children at her wedding.
“She said, 'I'm sorry, but we've decided we want a child-free wedding.' I told her to just say she wanted a free wedding for “my son” and get it over with because that's exactly what she's doing. We had an argument and she told me to stop throwing tantrums and that my son doesn't need to be included in everything,” the post continued.
The bride's sister then informed her that she would not be attending the wedding due to the decision which led to the bride calling her an “asshole” for not supporting her.
Shortly after the post, many people took to the comments to defend the Reddit poster, pointing out that their daughter does not fit the normal age of a child and is too old to be excluded from a wedding.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1atxyxp/aita_for_throwing_a_tantrum_ Because_my_child/
“People defending the sister in this 'her wedding/her rules' thing is very infuriating. “It’s antisocial, exclusionary, and just plain shitty behavior,” one comment began.
“I'm proud of you for standing up for your daughter OP. For people to act like she's not a person with feelings, a complete human being because she's 17, is totally disgusting and there is absolutely no justification for it. I wouldn't support my sister doing that either. This is not a friend and OP's daughter is not an auxiliary guest. “She is a member of the family and the only one excluded.”
Another commenter agreed, writing: “Childless weddings usually mean 'I don't want 3 year olds throwing a tantrum during our first dance' and while there are ways to arrange childcare/rules that allow a wedding to be pleasant and undisturbed by children By attending, I can see why some opt for free child attendance.”
“In this case, however, that is simply nonsense. Her daughter is a minor, but no younger than her 18-year-old cousin. What your sister does is different and it's not right. Calling it “child-free” is just an excuse.”
Other commenters agreed that there was nothing wrong with not wanting a toddler or even a child under 10 at your wedding, but 18 was a high age limit.
“I feel like normally it would be a 'your wedding, your rules' situation and I'd say grow up and get over it, BUT this isn't that situation,” one commenter noted.
“Your (practically) adult child is literally the only one who is excluded. I can't even imagine what's probably going through that 17 year old girl's head right now. She's probably wondering why her family doesn't like her. You should definitely talk to her and make sure he knows that some people are just ridiculous about her stupid wedding and that she didn't do anything wrong. Make sure she knows this is not her fault somehow.”
