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A woman has sparked backlash for her decision not to attend her best friend's wedding.
In a recent Reddit post shared on the popular subreddit “Am I an idiot?”, the woman explained that she and her childhood friend had always had a pact to be bridesmaids at each other's weddings, but she was only asked to be a regular maid of honor.
Despite being a little disappointed that she didn't get the position, she explained that the main issue for her was being told, “You don't have to be with the other bridesmaids during the wedding.” She defended herself as to why before being informed that the bride didn't want her to be with the other bridesmaids due to her social anxiety and fear of being the center of attention.
“I was worried I would have a panic attack, like I did when I was there at my own wedding. Honestly, it was really hard during my wedding because I was shaking and couldn’t breathe, and everyone’s terrified reaction made it even worse for me,” the Redditor explained, reflecting on her own ceremony.
“I had to leave and come back with just my husband, my mother and I to continue with our vows and such while everyone else headed to the reception. I couldn’t even go with them until I was drunk enough to not feel embarrassed.”
The bridesmaid admitted that since her own wedding, she has been to therapy and feels her social anxiety has improved enough for her to be able to stand next to the other bridesmaids, but her friend didn't change her mind.
“She said she didn’t want to embarrass me again and that she would worry about me the whole time, and that she was also worried that I would ruin the mood of the wedding if I had a panic attack. I finally told her that I would rather be a guest if I couldn’t do all the bridesmaid work,” she explained.
However, on the day of the wedding, the person who posted the message on Reddit decided not to go because she felt “hurt” for having attended as a guest. The bride thought she had only skipped the event to make her feel guilty for not being with the bridesmaids.
Following the post, many people took to the comments section to agree with the bride based on the way she reacted.
“Are you aware that you basically proved her point? She was worried that your emotions would get the better of you and that’s exactly what happened. You were so overwhelmed with sadness that you couldn’t attend her wedding even though you said you would,” one comment began.
“Why should I trust that you won’t have a nervous breakdown during her wedding? While you may have made some progress, I don’t think you’re as far from your problems as you think.”
Another commenter even pointed out that the bride had made an arrangement for her friend to still participate in the wedding party without being the center of attention and that she just wanted to make sure it didn't happen again.
“It wasn’t just a reasonable request on her part; it was a reasonable accommodation. It’s reasonable for her to be concerned that you might have a panic attack. Even though you say you’re feeling better, were you in a situation that might have tested you? It’s reasonable for her to be cautious about putting you in a situation that has been causing you problems,” the comment read.
“And if you were equally reasonable, you wouldn’t want to use a friend’s wedding as a testing ground to see how much progress you’ve made.”
