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While sisters may be family, that won't stop brothers from arguing, big or small, from time to time.
In a recent Reddit post shared on the popular subreddit “Am I the Asshole?”, a woman explained that she always thought she and her sister were “really close.” However, her younger sister was supposed to be her maid of honor at her wedding and decided not to show up on the day of the ceremony.
“She didn’t call me, she didn’t text me, nothing. I was devastated, but I tried to focus on the day and not let it ruin things,” she wrote. “Later, she explained to me that she had a panic attack and couldn’t handle the pressure. I understood and tried to be supportive, but it still hurt that she didn’t even try to tell me.”
Now, her sister is pregnant and asked for help planning her baby shower and contributing financially to the celebrations.
“She’s in a tough spot and I feel bad for her, but I’m still hurting about the wedding. I told her I’m not in a position to help her right now and she got really upset, saying I’m selfish and holding a grudge,” the Reddit post continued.
The woman said her family is divided over the situation and some people are encouraging her to put aside the wedding disaster to help her sister. However, others believe it was only fair not to help with the baby shower.
Following the post, many people in the comments section defended the woman's refusal to help with her sister's baby shower, adding that sisters should constantly be there for each other, no matter what.
“It’s quite legitimate to think that the fact that you ask for help means that you should definitely get it. You’ve told her that you’re not in a position to do so, which should be a totally acceptable response,” one comment began. “Also, if she needs help, why isn’t the rest of your family providing it for her instead of pressuring you to do so?”
“She let you down at the time you needed it the most, and from what I’ve read, she didn’t even call you personally to let you down. Unless she’s done what she can to apologize and make amends, I don’t blame you for not feeling ready to help her. When someone hurts you so deeply, you need to address it instead of ignoring it,” another person said.
Another commenter agreed, writing: “MOH [maid of honor] Not showing up for your sister's wedding would be a nightmare. I can't even imagine how upset you must have been not knowing if something could have happened to her.”
“As for her asking for help… This is a situation she created with the help of her partner (at least momentarily). How is this your responsibility? If she can’t afford the baby, she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. As for the baby shower, why is she throwing one for herself anyway? That’s really in poor taste. Your response was appropriate and she should have accepted it without question. Her reaction speaks to her character.”
“Your family is not allowed to tell you how you should react. Actions have consequences and there is no ‘deadline’ for forgiveness,” another person noted. “She broke your trust and broke your heart. It is your right to grieve for that and set new boundaries. This request is beyond your limits because of HER actions. It is not your fault. Do what YOU feel comfortable doing, especially with your hard-earned money. No one tells me what to do with my money.”
