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A woman hastily decided to divorce her husband for sitting in the car for too long.
When her patience ran out, she knew she had to end their relationship. But now she's not sure she made the right decision. On Reddit's infamous confession forum Am I The A**hole, the woman tried to find out if other people thought she was wrong for ending her two-year marriage.
She introduced the situation by pointing out that her ex-partner always liked to stay in the car for five to ten minutes after arriving home.
“I don’t know why he does this, but he talked about a past traumatic experience he had when he came home and found out his ex was cheating on him,” the Reddit user wrote. “So he would just spend a few minutes in his car before going inside his house as a response to his trauma.”
While she understands that her habit is a defense mechanism, she doesn't like how it negatively affects her. According to the Reddit writer, her extended stint in the car makes her “uncomfortable” and has led to several arguments, especially when sitting in the driveway when guests are inside.
“Or when dinner is waiting for him and he sits in silence for 10 minutes in the car,” he added.
That being said, her biggest concern was finding him wasting time in the car during an emergency, which was exactly what happened.
Unfortunately, the Reddit user's eight-year-old son fell and tripped while going down the stairs. As a result, he broke his ankle and had to be rushed to the hospital. So, she called her husband and asked if he could take off work to take him to the emergency room.
“I called and called and I was stunned when I looked out the window and saw him sitting outside the house in his car,” she said. “I was shocked and angry at the same time.”
According to her husband, she had been sitting in the car for eight minutes. In fact, he told the Redditor that he would not go in to help until the ten minutes were up because he did not feel “comfortable.”
The original poster read: “He told me to get my son ready to take him to the hospital, but I started yelling at him non-stop, telling him it was a family emergency and that he was crazy for acting like that.”
Now, she doesn't think his response was adequate, and she let her anger consume her as she raged at him. Still, she had been expecting this response from him in an emergency situation, and she was upset to see that he was right.
The Reddit user took her son to the hospital with her neighbour and refused to speak to her husband when he tried to contact her later. She went to stay with her mother and told her partner she wanted a divorce.
“He tried to rationalize and justify what he did by saying he couldn’t help it, that he was nervous, and that he wanted to help my son, but he felt trapped,” the Redditor said.
She continued: “I refused to respond to his messages and days later his family literally harassed me saying I was adding to my husband’s trauma and not respecting their boundaries.”
After some time and space, the Reddit user is reconsidering her decision. Her family has made it clear that they support her decision, but her husband has been trying to dissuade her from getting a divorce, arguing that she has exaggerated the situation more than necessary.
Even though her son is not her husband’s biological son, she has lost trust in him as a partner and father figure. But what do her fellow Redditors think? An overwhelming majority of readers thought her husband suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). According to the National Institute of Mental Health, OCD is “a long-lasting disorder in which a person experiences uncontrollable, recurring thoughts (obsessions), engages in repetitive behaviors (compulsions), or both.”
“Sounds like some form of OCD to me,” one person commented, while another agreed: “It sounds like I’m stuck in a compulsive behavior.”
The original writer confessed that she had asked him to seek help for his behavior, but he was unwilling to do so.
“He had refused professional help and his family took his side,” she admitted.
To this, one reader added: “The fact that he refused to seek help is the height of selfishness. His departure is justified. Good luck to you and your son.”
“If he refused professional help, then you have the answer. You should be able to rely on your husband in case of emergency and he showed you that you can’t. You are definitely not a good person,” argued another.
