Woman defends not attending friend’s bridal shower after being kicked out of wedding

A woman has defended her decision to skip her friend’s hen party after she was kicked out of the wedding party.

In a recent post shared on the popular “Am I the Asshole?” On the Reddit forum, a Reddit user, who goes by the name u/my-hero-macadamia, asked if it would be wrong of her to skip the bachelorette party. She specified that the question arose not only after she was asked not to be a bridesmaid, but also because she was not invited to the wedding. However, according to the Reddit user, the girlfriend “still wants to be friends.”

She went on to give some context about the situation, noting that she was initially asked to be a bridesmaid over the summer and that she was “ecstatic.” She then shared that she was previously in a five-year relationship with one of her groomsmen, who was also officiating the wedding. The Reddit user also went into more detail about the romance, noting that she and her ex broke up amicably as they were “struggling with long distance and just growing apart.”

“He and I had never, ever fought (or really fought) during the entire relationship and breakup. We see each other quite often because we share the same friends and a dog that we both love and we agreed to co-parent,” she wrote. “When we see each other, we just catch up as friends and it’s never been a problem.”

However, he expressed that things changed recently when they had a private discussion about many “repressed feelings” he had regarding their relationship. She acknowledged that although they later reconciled, they still talked to her friends about the argument while it was happening.

She claimed the girlfriend has “understandably been feeling a lot of anxiety” about the former couple and was worried something might arise between them. She added that, while she has not spoken to his girlfriend about these problems, she has tried with the help of her other friends.

“I tried to talk to her while the fight was going on, but I was practically met with silence,” he added. “My other friends were very supportive and gave me advice, despite their [significant others] Also being friends with my ex. “It was a complicated situation because we are all friends, but I wasn’t asking anyone to take sides, I just needed a friend at that moment and I didn’t get one from her.”

She then expressed that while the girlfriend never spoke to her about her and her ex, things took a turn. “She kicked me out of the bridal party and completely disinvited me from the wedding,” the Reddit user continued. “And she ended with ‘I love you, you’re one of my closest friends, I just have to think about myself and my wedding right now.'”

The woman added that while she tries to sympathize with her friend’s feelings during the wedding planning, she still feels “hurt” by the way the situation was handled.

“I’m trying to understand that she has a wedding brain, she has anxiety, and she has every right to be stressed about me and my ex together, but I can’t help but feel so hurt that she doesn’t trust me as a partner. friend who would be 100 percent there for her on her wedding day,” she wrote.

She then specified that not only is she considering missing her friend’s bachelorette party, but she also doesn’t want to spend money on a gift after what happened.

“Especially when I feel like I’ve already put a lot into this friendship and I’m not going to get it back,” he added, before sharing that he only babysat the girlfriend’s “nasty German Shepherd,” who allegedly scratched the Reddier user. – for two weeks without being paid for it.

The Reddit post quickly went viral, as it has more than 1,600 upvotes. In the comments, many people supported the woman’s idea of ​​skipping the bridal shower, while criticizing her girlfriend for kicking her out of the bridal party. Other people gave the Reddit poster advice on how to move forward with the friendship between her and her girlfriend.

“This is a wild situation and it seems like the only one not handling it like an adult is the girlfriend. Also, why are you the only one being asked to leave? “It takes two people for a relationship to succeed or fail (or exist),” one wrote.

“If you’re not invited to the wedding, you don’t have to be invited to the bridal shower or bridal shower. That’s what you would call a ‘gift’ from the bride. And being a rude person,” said another.

“It would take some space away from the girlfriend and chill the friendship,” added a third. “She didn’t even talk to you and she just left you and didn’t invite you to the wedding. She clearly chose a side and that of your ex. She wouldn’t do them any favors and she would keep contact low-key and discreet for a while.”

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