A man recently received praise after filming himself confronting a fellow traveler who was sitting in the seat he had purchased in advance.
The positive response to viral images of the man insisting on being allowed to sit in the seat he had reserved came after an influencer recently earned similar applause for rejecting a request to swap seats on a plane so a family could sit together. .
“No I'm not trading for a middle seat, book your flights early babies,” influencer Audrey Peters captioned the equally viral video in March.
The couple is not alone in their experiences, as social media has recently been flooded with stories of travelers being asked to swap seats with other passengers who want to sit with a friend or family member, or simply because they would prefer a seat. best seat.
However, as responses to viral videos suggest, most travelers are not open to seat change suggestions. And, according to travel etiquette, they don't have to be.
To find out whether it is ever appropriate or acceptable to ask to swap seats with a fellow traveler on a plane or train, or any mode of transportation where seats are reserved in advance, we sought the advice of Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert. national and founder of The Protocol School of Texas.
speaking to The independentGottsman said there is only one acceptable scenario in which a traveler can ask a fellow passenger to change seats, and that even then it is only justifiable if the passenger has first tried other ways to remedy the situation.
According to Gottsman, the acceptable scenario refers to a parent or guardian who, through advance planning, has discovered that “there is no possible way” they can sit next to their young child, at which point “of course it is understandable” to ask a travel companion to exchange.
However, Gottsman noted that even with a small child, “it's always best to ask a ticket agent or someone at the travel company if there is an opportunity to change or change seats before boarding the plane or bus.” train”, since “Asking a fellow traveler puts the person you ask in an uncomfortable position” and depends on their “good will”.
If you're hoping to change your seat for any other reason, it's usually not wise to ask a fellow traveler if they're willing to change, despite numerous videos of travelers doing just that on social media.
“Wanting to sit next to a friend, or preferring a window seat rather than an aisle seat, is not a good enough reason” to ask, Gottsman said, adding: “If you and your spouse are separated, it simply means you booked late or I did not plan in advance to reserve seats together.”
The requests go against travel etiquette even further when the proposed change would remove the passenger from a seat that is preferable to the one offered, according to Gottsman, who told us it's “really not the best way” to ask a person taking a “middle seat or window seat” when they have an aisle seat reserved.
Travel website The Points Guy agrees, with the blog noting that, “generally speaking, the unspoken rule when it comes to seat swaps is that only better or equivalent swaps should be offered; “maybe you lose an aisle seat, but gain some legroom in a bulkhead seat, or trade your window seat to the toilet for a middle seat at the front of the main cabin.”
However, travel experts suggest that a seat change proposal in which a “comparable seat” is offered to your traveling companion “is generally considered acceptable,” even if it is for a reason such as wanting to be “close to your spouse or friends, or [because you] have a very narrow scale.”
“It's always worth asking,” the website states.
While there may be times when a seat change request is acceptable, one of the biggest travel etiquette mistakes a traveler can make is taking a fellow traveler's seat without asking, according to The Points Guy. “A cardinal rule in seat swapping is that you should never occupy another person's seat before they board,” the blog states.
As for how travelers should handle seat change requests, both Gottsman and The Points Guy say passengers should feel comfortable declining if they don't want to give up their seat.
“It's perfectly fine to decline the request, no excuses needed,” Gottsman told us, before giving a concise example response: “'Sorry, I'll stay here in this seat.'”
The Points Guy also notes that passengers are “well within their rights to decline any seat exchange offer unless instructed to do so by a flight attendant.”
This article was originally published in April 2023.
