Two centenarians share the secret of 82 years of marriage

As a lively group of older women hurried to board a bus to go shopping on a recent Tuesday afternoon, Carla and Jack Weingarten could be found huddled under a blanket inside their Los Angeles apartment, watching episodes of “I Love Lucy” over and over again.

Carla, who is 100, and Jack, who will turn 105 on December 25, used to look forward to weekly outings at their retirement community. But these days, they prefer a more relaxed afternoon: sitting side by side in their recliners and watching one of Carla's favorite shows (Jack mostly just listens because he's lost much of his vision) while holding hands during hours.

In August, Carla and Jack celebrated a major milestone: 82 years of marriage.

“We are very lucky,” said Carla, who suffers from short-term memory loss. She then leaned toward her husband to encourage him to intervene.

“Yes,” he said in agreement, before kissing her hand tenderly. Jack, whose speech and memory have faded in recent years, used to tell his two children that the key to a healthy marriage is “for the man to always have the last word: 'Yes, dear.'” Jack doesn't talk much nowadays, but when he does, he usually calls Carla or tells her that he loves her several times a day.

“I love you too, Jackie,” she always responds.

There are an estimated 17,000 centenarians living in California, with nearly 6,500 in Los Angeles County, according to the California Department of Finance. That number gets even smaller (about 25% as estimated by the Census Bureau's American Community Survey) when it comes to how many Californians age 90 and older are still married. According to the Guinness World RecordsThe longest documented marriage in the world is 86 years.

In other words, Carla and Jack's long-term relationship is something of an anomaly.

The couple's Hollywood-style love story began in Vienna, where Jack and Carla had been neighbors and family friends since they were children. Their families also attended the same synagogue, although they did not pay much attention to each other due to the five-year age difference.

The family story is as follows: Around 1936, a teenage Jack moved to what was then known as Mandatory Palestine on the advice of a teacher because anti-Semitism was rapidly increasing in Austria and neighboring Germany. Carla fled there a few years later during World War II. Her father thought she would be safer there because she spoke Hebrew. He would later be murdered in a concentration camp, along with his mother, his younger brother, and his grandparents. Before Carla left Austria, Jack's mother asked her to deliver a letter. His mother didn't know exactly where he lived, but she hoped Carla would find him.

Shortly after her arrival, Carla ran into one of Jack's childhood friends, who told her where he was and they were reunited. Carla doesn't remember what she thought of Jack when she saw him again, but her reaction was mixed with the charming sense of humor for which he is known, according to her children. “You look so much better now,” Jack told 17-year-old Carla. Knowing that she had no family or resources at the time, Jack told her, “Don't worry. I will take care of you,” and he suggested they get married.

They married on August 12, 1941, and had their first son, Joel, four years later, and then their second son, Henry, in 1950. The young family moved to New York City in 1958 and headed to Los Angeles. . a few months later. Jack worked for a children's clothing company, which he eventually took over, while Carla worked as a seamstress and pattern maker. She also taught sewing classes in her garage.

“They had a hard time moving to the United States, but what I respected was that they never passed it on to their children,” Joel said. Unlike the parents of some of his friends, Carla and Jack did not remind him or his brother of the sacrifices they had made for them, he added. “I never heard anything from my parents about what they went through. “They never looked back, they only looked forward.”

Jack and Carla had a vibrant social life until a couple of years ago. First, Jack injured his head after two falls and had to recover during days of hospital stay. He then contracted COVID-19 and pneumonia. But before all that, Jack played bridge competitively for several years. He and Carla attended all the social events in their independent living community and encouraged others to attend. If there was a dance floor, they were always on it. “They are a very beloved couple here,” said Deborah Rivera, the community's business manager. She has known them since they moved into the retirement community almost 15 years ago.

Photos of Carla and Jack Weingarten over the years, including one, left, with their sons Henry and Joel and granddaughter Joanne, Joel's daughter, in December 2022.

(The Weingarten Family)

The couple used to travel regularly to places like Hawaii, Austria and Germany, and have friends of different ages all over the world. They have outlived many of their old friends. They are fluent in several languages, including German, Hebrew and French, and typically speak to each other in German.

Photos from their travels, along with smiling images of their sons, daughters-in-law and three granddaughters, adorn every square foot of their spacious two-bedroom apartment. Carla used to love making personalized cards on her desktop computer for her loved ones' birthdays, but nowadays she no longer does that.

“We are lucky,” Carla said of their lives. “We thank God. We have no complaints. We have a good place here. We enjoy being here with the people. We have good friends.”

Carla still exercises every day and gets her hair and nails done regularly at the community salon. And when her husband falls asleep at night, she usually goes downstairs to meet her friends for a glass of wine. Three other centenarians live at the senior complex, but Carla and Jack are the only married couple, Rivera said.

The word “tenderness” comes to Rivera's mind when she thinks of the Weingartens. They have a “spark of love that is still there after all these years,” Rivera said. “But with them, it's so pure. It's so genuine. You will see that they really still enjoy each other a lot. You see them walking down the hallway, always holding hands, which is very nice to see.”

“I think that's what keeps them alive,” added their son, Joel. “The fact that they have each other.”

Carla and Jack's marriage has also impacted their three grandchildren.

“We all consider them a success story and something to strive for because they love each other so much and really enjoy each other's company and waking up next to each other,” said granddaughter Ashton Cohen-Weingarten, 33. .

“They are very committed to each other,” added his sister, Lindsay Cohen-Weingarten, 30. “They grew up together and have now grown old together, and their relationship is still very strong. [Their marriage] “It has taught me unconditional love.”

Willie Coronado, one of Carla and Jack's caregivers, has also received some jewelry from them. Jack told Coronado, who has been married for 23 years, that the secret to “living happily ever after” is to make sure “that when you go to bed at night with your wife, things are settled. “Don’t go to bed angry.”

“That's something I carry with me all the time,” said Coronado, who has worked with the couple for more than a decade. “I know it's not easy, but I know there's a lot of wisdom in those words.”

Back in Carla and Jack's cozy apartment, Lucille Ball was jumping on the TV screen in their living room. While a housekeeper tidied her bedroom and a caretaker prepared her lunch, Jack began to fall asleep as he and his wife held hands. He didn't let her go… and neither did she.