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People online defended a girlfriend after her boyfriend refused to buy her an engagement ring with a lab-cut diamond.
In a recent post on Reddit website Am I The A**hole, one frustrated woman spoke out about her situation and admitted that her proposal wishes didn't match her partner's.
The Redditor admitted that she and her boyfriend have been talking about their future engagement and marriage. In that regard, the conversation has been very much focused on her engagement ring. While she appreciates a traditional lab diamond, her boyfriend doesn't think the ring's composition matters.
“He doesn't believe the rings have any value and thinks it's foolish to spend money on lab-made diamonds or gold,” she explained.
Still, her original wish was to receive a ring from a “trusted jeweler.” Of course, her boyfriend thought the prices for these rings were too high. She estimated the cost of the ones she was interested in to be around $4,000.
The Reddit user said: “We were undecided for a while and I looked into other options that were cheaper ($2,000) and he told me he was still against that amount and had a budget of $600.
“This budget is artificially imposed on him because he doesn't believe in rings and not because he can't afford them,” he added.
In addition to his displeasure at the price of the diamond rings she wants, her boyfriend believes she should receive a material gift of equal value.
She noted: “I was also against the principle that rings are a one-way street where the man is forced to buy something expensive and there is no reciprocity, which is fair.”
The compromise they had reached was that she would buy him a gift if he gave her a ring. When the Reddit user finally found a ring she liked, she asked her boyfriend if the compromise they had reached still worked for him. Sadly, it didn't.
According to the Reddit writer, her boyfriend backed out and questioned why she needed a lab diamond again.
“Basically, (he) told me that he doesn’t understand why getting a (lab-grown) diamond ring is so important to me and why can’t I just get a $100 moissanite ring that looks similar and we can use the rest of the ring budget for something else,” she confessed.
At this point, the Redditor wants to buy the ring she wants so she doesn't end up dissatisfied with the style her boyfriend chooses.
Wondering whether she was being irrational, the writer asked readers for their opinion, and an overwhelming majority supported her.
One reader commented: “I say this as a woman who doesn’t like jewelry. It’s not about the ring, it’s about him refusing to budge in the slightest on something that’s important to you.”
“I agree with your boyfriend, but the ring itself is not your problem. You two are unable to resolve this difference of opinion on something that clearly matters a lot to both of you,” added another.
A third noted: “The ring has no value to him, but it does to you. Since it’s important to you, it should be important to him. When you become a couple, each other’s wants and needs should take priority over the other’s.”
“You can feel however you want,” one person simply said.
