The rise of grey divorce: people over 50 looking for peace and fulfilment in old age


Gray divorce trend grows as older adults seek happiness and personal fulfillment

As traditional views and social acceptance toward marriage shift, older adults are bravely defending their right to happiness, fulfillment and personal growth, even if it means ending a long-term relationship.

The term “gray divorce,” also known as “silver divorce,” is increasingly being used to describe people over the age of 50 who are seeking a divorce. As times change, the definition of a good, successful marriage is evolving, raising deeper questions about the connection between couples. The focus has shifted from traditional reasons for staying married (such as financial security, social taboos, and the well-being of children) to a deeper understanding of mutual compatibility and personal fulfillment.

Suman Khanna, a psychologist, says, “The factors leading to this trend are multifaceted, but if we were to summarise them under one umbrella, the most common reasons why silver weddings turn into silver breakups could include abuse, infidelity, health issues (both physical and mental), lack of emotional connection, presence of traumatic events, estrangement, changing expectations, loneliness and difficulty in understanding each other’s needs. Research shows that what was once a difficult choice is now becoming an option that people are considering even after years of marriage.”

As traditional views and social acceptance of marriage shift, older adults are bravely standing up for their right to happiness, fulfillment and personal development, even if it means ending a long-term relationship. Research also shows that as life expectancy increases, people are prioritizing their happiness and well-being. If they expect to live another 20 years or more, they are opting for a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

“The grey divorce trend is not exclusive to one country. Countries like Canada, the UK, Japan, Europe, Australia and India are witnessing similar patterns,” Khanna adds.

While unhappy marriages can have extreme health effects, such as chronic loneliness, depression, anxiety, anger, and for some, extreme guilt for not keeping their partner happy due to a lack of connection between them, what we overlook are the similar physical and mental health risks caused by gray divorce.

Gray divorce can be a major transition, but Khanna shares some steps that can help you navigate the transition with minimal health risks:

  • Get support from your friends and family during and after the transition, as this will help you not feel alone and have more control over the situation.
  • Get financial guidance from experts to help you plan and manage financial security for your future.
  • Seek professional help for your well-being.
  • Take up a job that will help you achieve independence and financial security.
  • Build a professional and supportive network that helps you connect with people in and around your workplace and community.
  • While self-care is often overlooked and mentioned casually, sudden changes in routine and living conditions can be challenging. Sticking to your self-care goals can help you cope and overcome these challenges.
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