The odds of finding a 'man in finance, 6'5, blue eyes' in this economy are slim, dating experts warn

YoIn case you were wondering, the hottest song of the summer isn't Sabrina Carpenter's “Espresso” or Charli XCX's entire album. Golf club. It's actually a viral TikTok sound created by Megan Boni, who states: “I'm looking for a man in finance with a trust fund, 6'5″, blue eyes.”

Boni’s 19-second video racked up more than 40 million views (and counting), and her viral song inspired thousands more to confess they were also looking for a partner who fit that particular profile. One woman commented on Boni’s TikTok: “Please add generational wealth somehow.” Another woman visited Canary Wharf in London with a cardboard sign reading, “Looking for a man in finance,” as she searched for potential dates in real time. And a third user gate kept her real-life finance boyfriend away from the rest of the world. “Keep looking for your man, ladies,” she said. “He’s out there.”

For most of the last decade, the term “finance buddy” has become the biggest red flag in dating: a pejorative phrase used by women to denote a (typically) white man who works for a major company. financial firm, works terrible hours, and has yet to shake off some of his frat brother's behavior well into adulthood. Seeing a brother of finance at large, young women looked the other way or pretended not to know the difference between Blackstone and BlackRock.

Now, it seems that suddenly (and with the help of Boni's viral video) men in the financial sector have become the most eligible bachelors. Surely, it can't just be a catchy TikTok that has transformed the financial brothers from persona non grata to prince charming? Or are we just lying to ourselves by pretending that Patagonia vests are really that attractive?

When Sabrina Zohar, professional dating coach and host of the do the work podcast: When you first saw Boni's video appear on your TikTok For You page, you couldn't help but shake your head at those who think this type of “ideal man” actually exists in the real world.

“I feel like this next generation is still holding on to this Disney fairy tale that I’m going to have everything I want because I say I want it, and if I say I want it, then it should be there for me,” Zohar said. The Independent.

Turns out there's someone who actually identified the likelihood of finding a man in finance with a trust fund who's 6'5″ and has blue eyes, and the odds are pretty stacked against us. Rae Hodge, a corporate strategy director based in Los Angeles, posted her own TikTok video in which she broke down (to her husband) an estimate of how many people in America actually fit Boni's description.

“6’4” – do you know how tall that is?” Hodge asked her husband Ryan, as she stood in front of a presentation of her findings. “He’s incredibly tall.”

If you factor in Boni's non-negotiables — she works in finance (1.7 million men in the U.S.), has a trust fund (1.2 percent of Americans), is 6'5″ (a staggering 0.1 percent of men in the U.S.), and has blue eyes (27 percent of men in the U.S.) — and, of course, whether or not she's single, that leaves Boni with just two available men to date in the entire country, according to Hodge's calculations.

“Things aren't looking good for GirlOnCouch,” one TikTok user commented in response.

Of course, there's usually no single reason why videos go viral on the Internet. It could just as well be that we were missing a catchy viral song and Boni's was the one that stuck. For Sabrina Bendory, relationship expert at Dating.com and author of You're Thinking Too Much: Find Lifelong Love by Being Yourself – It wasn't just the comedic nature of Boni's video that made it a viral sensation, but it also struck a particular chord among Gen Z singles.

“This generation is quite demanding about things: they have a long list of requirements before they consider a product worth buying or a job worth doing,” he said. The independent. “The same attitude applies to dating and relationships, with this group more inclined to openly post about their 'ideal man' or 'perfect partner' on social media.”

For decades, relationship experts told women that talking about money with a potential partner or significant other was completely taboo. As women began to make strides in the workforce (although a persistent gender pay gap will never even things out), money issues became less important once women were able to support themselves financially. That is, until Gen Z began romanticizing a hyper-specific aesthetic on TikTok, which, in turn, altered their perspectives on dating.

Trends like the “clean girl aesthetic” and “quiet luxury” have dominated TikTok feeds for the past two years, emphasizing understated elegance while avoiding obnoxious displays of wealth. Popular TV shows like Succession have only sparked more interest in the lives of the super-rich, while Sofia Richie's wedding to husband Elliot Grainge transformed the baby of nepotism into a style icon of hidden wealth.

“There is a lot of interest in the lifestyles of the super elite. It's almost a form of escapism, especially given the current state of the economy, and it's easy to get seduced by that lifestyle and imagine what it would be like to literally never have to worry about money, and for your kids to never have to worry. for the money. , and their children, and so on,” Bendory said.

Not to mention, there has been an influx of young “traditional motherhood” influencers, also known as “traditional wives,” who spend their days in the kitchen and cooking meals for their families from scratch. With such a constant influx of traditionalist and greedy content online, it's no surprise that our dating preferences have changed considerably as a result.

“The fact is that society as a whole has a very high opinion of men who make a lot of money. And a lot of people don’t think there’s anything wrong with intending to marry someone who has money,” Bendory explained. “Economic problems are extremely difficult and you can’t blame someone for wanting to avoid them.”

In fact, many reports have shown that Gen Z is facing financial struggles like no other generation. An estimated 38 percent of American adults born after 1996 have stated that they face more difficulty feeling financially secure than their parents did at the same age, according to a January 2024 Bankrate report. A Bank of America survey found that more than half of Gen Z believe higher costs are a barrier to their financial success. Between rising housing costs and student loan payments, roughly two-thirds of Gen Z believe they will never have enough money to retire.

“I think we're at a place now where we're seeing, generationally, that we can't do what our parents did,” Zohar said. “We can't be a single-income household with three kids while someone stays home and takes care of everyone. That ship has already sailed. “We can barely support ourselves, let alone our family.”

With so much uncertainty for young people in the economy, it should come as no surprise that some women believe marrying a man who works in finance with a trust fund could help them feel stable enough to achieve their own long-term financial goals. But at what cost? If anything, the viral reaction to Boni’s video may have exposed just how much we’re willing to sacrifice in a relationship.

Financial stability has always been a factor when choosing a life partner, but there's no doubt that compatibility, communication style, sexual chemistry, or a good sense of humor are far more important when it comes to relationships. What if you lose your job? Or what if your trust fund is no longer worth anything or won't be available for another 20 years? Relationship experts agree that dating someone just for their money can increase your chances of being unhappy in a relationship and even increases the chance of a future divorce.

“We forget that there's another side to the coin to having this perfect version of who you think you want,” Zohar said. “If that's what you want, let me know the depth of your relationships. Let me really know how satisfied you feel, let me know how good you feel in this relationship.”

Looking for a man in finance with a trust fund who is 6'5” and has blue eyes can be all fun and games when you're not trying to take a relationship too seriously. However, when it comes time to weigh the pros and cons of being with a person, it is ultimately more important to consider how you will achieve financial stability together, without sacrificing your own emotional satisfaction.

“In today's economy, we see more and more people sacrificing genuine attraction, chemistry and compatibility to date someone with better personal finances,” Bendory said. “If you're considering staying in a relationship for the sake of financial security, it's important to think about the big picture of what will truly satisfy you. Instead, I think we should normalize it for couples to make a financial plan together and prioritize things like value alignment, shared goals, and genuine friendship over money.”