GRAMGroup vacations are for kids, right? Teenagers collapsed on top of each other on European streets, chirping nonsense to the night sky amidst tears, sweat and kebabs. School leavers drenched in fluorescent paint, taking pictures of some dark spirit that is probably illegal in the UK. And college students waking up poolside with their jelly sandals still on and their bodies burning under the scorching afternoon sun.
With this in mind, the prospect of planning a group trip when you're over 25 may seem strange. At this point, people tend to have serious partners. Suitable jobs. And possibly even a child or two. Nobody has time for a silly little vacation with their friends. At least, that's how I felt in mid-2022 when, after a breakup, I found myself facing a completely blank and, consequently, quite gloomy summer. It's not that people didn't want to go away together – “It makes me nauseous to drink rosé and talk shit for seven hours by a pool,” said a friend with a three-year-old – but few had the time, money or energy, and much less the three.
Those who did were impossible to push. WhatsApp groups were made between various friendship groups. Screenshots of flights were shared (“Look, the EasyJet offer is now live!”). And the links between several Airbnbs in little-known European cities were the subject of heated debate. And yet, nothing happened, so that year I ended up going on my first solo vacation.
Having turned 30 last month, I found myself facing the prospect of going on holiday alone again. This was despite the fact that I was desperate for a big, obscene vacation with lots of friends, the kind I haven't had in years because, for some reason, we left these experiences behind in our youth. But surely these kinds of vacations are good for us, especially now: Last year, the World Health Organization launched a commission to raise awareness about loneliness as a public health crisis. Meanwhile, there is extensive research suggesting that feelings of belonging and connection can relieve stress, reduce inflammation, and lower the risk of serious illness.
Why don't we do it then? “Once we hit our thirties, life usually feels quite burdened with responsibilities,” explains counselor Georgina Sturmer. “Pay the rent or mortgage, move up the career ladder, take care of children or parents or both. This reduces our disposable income and our time. And that can make it much more difficult for us to organize a group holiday, which takes time and money.”
There's also the matter of becoming older, wiser and, well, a little more stubborn about what we want and don't want from a vacation. This is a roadblock I've run into every time I've tried to plan one. “When time and money are valuable, we become more discerning about how we want to spend them,” adds Sturmer. “But, by their nature, group holidays require a sense of commitment. “So it can be a tricky balance to organize a group holiday that meets everyone's needs and meets everyone's requirements.”
Of course, there are also many different types of vacations. And people want different things from each of them. Personally, I've always wanted to lie on a lounge chair with a paperback covering my face and a cocktail to my right. When I was younger, this was also the general consensus among everyone I knew, aside from the wild nights of partying, of course. But some friends need more activity: surfing, sightseeing, hiking. Etc.
But these are obstacles that we should try to overcome. Because the benefits of being abroad with a group of people outside your usual family unit can be enormously beneficial. As I moved through my 20s and 30s, I realized I was spending a lot more time alone, especially as a single woman. People are busy with their own lives and our paths diverge more than before, which means plans must be scheduled months in advance and last-minute cancellations (due to work or family commitments) are common. Our friendships are no longer the priorities they once were.
“Connections with others are important to our well-being and group holidays can be a way to maintain friendships and care for ourselves,” says Dr Charlotte Russell, clinical psychologist and founder of The Travel Psychologist. “Group holidays aren't the only way to achieve this, but for many people, having a break together can help them reconnect in a deeper way. Traveling together in this way can also help us tune into our identity outside of our home life and responsibilities, perhaps connecting us with our fun, more carefree side.”
Connections with others are important to our well-being, and group vacations can be a way to maintain friendships and take care of ourselves.
Dr Charlotte Russell, Clinical Psychologist and Founder of The Travel Psychologist
If you've managed to overcome all the obstacles necessary to get a group trip off the ground, presumably with impeccable teamwork and time management skills, then the next thing to consider is the actual trip. Navigating group dynamics can be tricky at the best of times, but especially when you're in a new environment. “It is always better to limit your options,” advises psychotherapist Kamalyn Kaur. “Too many options result in vacations that no one enjoys or that no one gets to plan. Think about what kind of vacation you want to have, then figure out what kind of vacation the majority of the group is looking for and go for that option.”
It's important to get comfortable with conversations about money as soon as possible. Whenever I've taken group trips in the past, it's come up as an issue. People have different budgets. One person ends up paying more than another. And it causes friction in the group. The best way to avoid this is to come up with some kind of system beforehand – I personally recommend using an app like Splitwise, which allows you to track everyone's expenses before splitting them up so that each person can be reimbursed the correct amount. . amount owed to them.
While it may be tempting to let the loudest person in the group take the lead on all the important decisions (where to dine, what wine tasting to book, and what beaches to visit), this can also create tension down the road. “You don't have to have one person do everything,” says Justin Chapman, travel expert at travel agency Go2Africa. “It can be overwhelming trying to organize and book trips for a group, and it can end up making the trip feel more like a second job than a vacation, so be sure to delegate tasks to other people.”
It may seem juvenile, but there are many online survey tools that can help you decide activities based on what the majority want. You should also make sure to schedule some alone time; Trust me, you'll need it. When I was younger, there were trips where my social battery would completely drain, making me resentful every time I had to dress up to be around people again. “Group trips can be intense, with plans and activities scheduled for every minute of the day to keep everyone entertained,” adds Chapman. “So remember to plan some downtime to avoid exhaustion and exhaustion, which can lead to irritability and tension. Even just an hour to yourselves can make the difference between a trip that goes smoothly and one that ends with arguments.”
Don't get me wrong, traveling alone is amazing and can offer similar benefits, in part due to the number of people you meet as a result. There are ways to make it less daunting and combine it with group tours through tour companies: Flashback, which specializes in trips for people in their thirties and forties, has seen a 100 percent year-over-year increase in bookings. “I think the reason more and more people are looking for group travel options with solo travelers they've never met, rather than friends, goes beyond mere logistics. Ultimately, it's about meeting new people and expanding your life in new and unexpected ways,” says Lee Thompson, co-founder and CMO of flash package.
Basically, traveling with other people can give you many other things that traveling alone cannot. On the one hand, it is safer. “There are also opportunities for socializing, great outings and celebrations, and the opportunity to deepen connections with many people at the same time,” says Eloise Skinner, author and psychotherapist. “On the other hand, if you feel like you've moved away from large group friendships and instead developed closer friendships with a few people as you've gotten older, you might prefer a trip abroad with just a few friends. I really think it depends on the person.”
This summer I don't have any massive group trips planned. But I do have some vacations with smaller groups of friends, mostly organized into four or three. These trips have been planned to reflect where we are now in our lives. There will be time to read, explore, go out and everything else. It may be more low-key than the trips I took as an alcopop-obsessed teenager, but it's still a close circle of people who enjoy each other's company in a relaxing, new and ideally warm environment. Hopefully, I'll also come back with a slightly less brutal hangover.
