Truly support
independent journalism
Our mission is to provide unbiased, fact-based reporting that holds the powerful to account and exposes the truth.
Whether it's $5 or $50, every contribution counts.
Support us in offering journalism without agenda.
The good life Star Felicity Kendal has opened up about her grief following the death of her partner of 50 years.
Kendal, 77, first met Death of a salesman Theatre director Michael Rudman in 1979, when he was directing her in the philosophical comedy, Clouds.
Rudman died last year, aged 84, after a series of health problems, including a heart attack, bypass surgery, a Covid hospitalisation and a broken back. The director required full-time carers at home for the last two years of his life.
“If you must know, it’s been shit,” he said.The times.“People say, 'Are you OK? Of course not. He just died.'”
“Some days I feel great, other days not so much. Most of the time, I just get over things. Stupid things get on my nerves. It’s very strange. You can’t predict what’s going to happen.”
Things the star said she “liked” included reading certain poems that reminded her of her husband, watching romantic comedies, shopping for eggs and listening to Bob Marley (while the couple enjoyed reggae music).
“Or I think about yelling ‘I love you’ all around the house,” she continued. “We always said it out of habit, if one of us went out or went to bed early, but he wasn’t here. Those things suddenly remind you that you’re a ‘one’ now, not a ‘two.’ That’s a big difference to come to terms with. It’s hard and it never really goes away.”
The actor played the sharp-tongued housewife Barbara Good, in the popular British comedy, The good lifeHowever, the loss of her husband has brought out a side of her that she was not used to.
“I’ve cried a lot, which is not like me,” she continued. “When someone dies, it’s like a boomerang. The emotion wears off, it goes out of sight, and then suddenly it hits you again. Unexpected things affect me. Often it’s just people being kind or someone else dying. I’m at an age where a lot of people die.”
Although she continues to process her grief, Kendal admits there are certain things she's not ready to do just yet.
“I have thousands of emails from Michael, but I deliberately don’t look at them,” she said. “And he sent me a sweet voicemail from the hospital. I can’t listen to it, not yet. But I won’t delete it.”
Speaking about the culture of “standing firm in the face of death,” Kendal urges that “it’s good to talk about these things.”
“People avoid it or say things like, ‘I’m sorry you lost your husband.’ I hate that, actually,” she said. “It’s like you lost the cat. I haven’t lost Michael; he’s dead. We’re all going to have to deal with similar things at one point or another, so let’s be open about it.”
Speaking about his final days, she says her husband was “pretty angry for the last month. He wanted to go on forever.”
However, she was grateful to be by his side in the hospital when he passed away.
“I hear the pain of people who would have been ‘there’ if it wasn’t for the bus or making a cup of tea. It can be a burden, so I felt very, very grateful. It’s the wish everyone would have.”
Kendal married Rudman in 1983, but the couple divorced in 1991 after a series of marital problems. She began a relationship with playwright Tom Stoppard, but gradually got back together with Rudman eight years later. The couple never remarried, but have lived together ever since. They have a 36-year-old son, Jacob.
