A bride-to-be is considering excluding her parents from her wedding and not inviting them to her big day altogether.
Seeking validation, the Reddit user detailed his situation in the popular thread “Am I the Asshole?” And while they might have initially been hesitant to tell their parents they couldn't attend their nuptials, other Redditors confirmed that they made the right decision.
The sincere person began by explaining how long he has been with his partner.
“My girlfriend and I just got engaged after almost nine years of dating and are planning to have our wedding in the spring of next year,” they wrote. “With this we have started planning the wedding and one of the topics that came up was if we want children at our wedding.”
Because they are both the eldest in their families, they made the decision not to have children under 10 at their wedding reception to maintain a “more adult style.” Unfortunately, this upset the bride's mother.
The Reddit user admitted: “When I mentioned this to my mom, she was not happy with the decision we made since some people will have to leave early due to the no kids rule.”
“There are three families that are invited that have children under 10 years old with a total of seven children under 10 years old,” they continued. “My fiancé and I expected at least one, if not both, parents in each family to leave early to care for their children and we were completely okay with this as they have other responsibilities to attend to.”
However, this led their parents to organize a separate reception for all the parents who had to leave early to pick up their children, and of course that meant they would also skip the reception itself.
“With this, you are telling most of the guests on your side of the family (about 50 of the 125 guests) that they should come to your party instead of the reception,” the Redditor explained. “After hearing this from her, we had a heated argument and she said that she was doing what she thought was right and that she did not need my permission to hold a celebration.”
The conversation allegedly ended when the upset daughter agreed that her mother and father did not need permission to hold their own celebration, but therefore did not have to attend the ceremony. Additionally, the Reddit user told his parents that they should support their children's wishes.
They added: “This is very difficult for me to accept as I always imagined my parents would be there on my wedding day, but at the same time we don't want her to be there if she just leaves early to party somewhere else and Try to take half of our guests with her.”
The Redditor then asked other anonymous users for feedback. Most people noted that they thought the bride-to-be had done the right thing and that it was valid for her to be upset.
“Your mother is intentionally trying to sabotage your wedding out of spite because you don't want kids at your wedding,” one passionate person proclaimed.
Another said: “Consider it an opportunity to save some money. Don't invite any of your friends or distant relatives of your mother who you think will be attending your mother's party. Heck, have a much smaller wedding. And you already know this but your mother is crazy.”
“She's shown you who she is and is helping you weed out the people who only show up to socialize. She's angry because you're not subsidizing her play date. She only invites people who love and support you,” a third follower commented.
A direct person asked, “Why are you invited in the first place? It seems like there are a lot of people you should cut back and save money.”
“If you want them to come to your wedding, invite them regardless of your mother's threats. Give them a chance to do the right, civilized and adult thing, please don't assume that everyone will look down on you because your mother has forgotten her manners,” one kind person suggested.
One perplexed Reddit user simply said: “This is the strangest wedding concept I've heard in a long time.”
