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There's nothing like the joy of summer vacation… until it arrives.
At first, the relief of not having to drop off and pick up the little ones is huge, but when the stress of leaving and general boredom sets in (usually around day two) or when you're trying to juggle work with organising play dates and movie marathons, the shine immediately wears off.
Fear not. Summer can be wonderful again. Just follow these tips and know that you are not alone. Ignore what you see on social media – the reality is that all parents are in the midst of holiday hell right now…
Book the kids club
The key to surviving a holiday is activities, says Tim Allardyce, chief executive of family activity app Hoop. “Kids want and need to be active. Finding holiday activities should be done on a daily basis. If you’re travelling abroad, look for hotels with kids’ clubs and get your kids used to going. They might protest at first, but stick with it as you’ll be getting some rest at the same time. If you’re in the UK, there are hundreds of kids’ camps available to choose from.”
Parents are expected to drop off and pick up children on the same day when they are under 10, she adds, and older children have more opportunities to attend residential camps. “Find out what your children like to do,” Allardyce continues. “Many sports also offer multi-sport camps. The more outdoorsy the camps are, the better, although any kind of healthy activity is good. My favourite option is hiking. The kids love it and it challenges you. We recently went on a hike to Snowdon with my six- and eight-year-olds. It took eight hours, but it was an amazing day out in nature away from screens and iPads.”
Relieve boredom with to-do lists
In some ways, the end of summer vacation is already approaching, but that can often be the hardest part if you're not far from home.
Suzy Reading, a chartered psychologist, author and wellbeing guru, suggests sitting down with each child and asking them what they would like to do with the time they have left. What do they need? She advises asking if they need a break, want to experience something new or learn a skill. Are there friends or family they would like to get together with? “Set some intentions that help refine decision-making and reduce the fear of missing out,” she says. “Keep your children grounded in perspective too – parents have to work to look after them too. We can make it more of a team effort with these conversations.”
“For younger children, make a mind map or activity wheel that they can choose from and refer to in downtime – this can keep boredom at bay,” Reading adds. “Leave it on the fridge and children can refer to it for inspiration. This is helpful for older children too. Have a variety of things that can be done alone, with family, with friends, at home, out and about. Make a short list of fun things to experience – nothing fancy. Feeding the ducks counts, as does visiting a trampoline park or trying out the driving range.”
Be realistic when you have babies
According to Lauren Seager-Smith, chief executive of the charity For Baby's Sake Trust, travelling with young children requires a lot of patience. “Maintaining routines where possible can help little ones feel secure,” she says. “Children thrive on predictability, and schedule changes can lead to increased stress and meltdowns. If you're at home, try to have regular mealtimes, with set times for play and relaxation. Try to keep nap and bedtime consistent. If you're travelling, plan activities around children's sleep schedules to avoid overtiredness. Don't let family and friends pressure you into changing your routines – you'll be the one dealing with the consequences.”
Vacations often bring with them high expectations and a desire to create perfect memories, she adds. “Remember that perfection isn’t the goal. It’s okay if things don’t go as planned. Embrace imperfections and focus on moments of joy and connection. Give yourself permission to say no to certain activities or excursions if they will overwhelm you or your children. Your baby won’t remember where you went, but it will make a difference in how it made you feel. Try painting a picture together or splashing around in the water. Love costs nothing.”
Lower your expectations
We all love vacations, but when you have small children, it can be very complicated.
If you have children under six, Zoe Blaskey, author of Motherkind (published by HQ on 15 August, price £16.99) says it's important to consider your expectations of a holiday, because chances are it will feel like more of the same, but in a different place. “It's a powerful mindset shift to lower your expectations, so you can really enjoy the magical moments without the pressure of making it 'perfect'.”
“Talk to your child – especially if they are neurodiverse – about what will happen beforehand, showing them pictures and explaining each step of the way; this will also help you, if you are someone who is prone to travel anxiety.”
She says it's a good idea, if you're going on a trip with your partner or a friend, to plan times when you can both relax. “Do something that brings you joy: go for a swim at sunset, read a book for half an hour, or go to the gym. That way, you'll both come back feeling refreshed.”
Relieves ear pain during flights
Any parent who has taken a child on a flight will know that cabin pressure can make children feel distressed. “We generally recommend avoiding too much sugar on a flight, but it can be helpful during take-off and landing,” says Emirates cabin crew member Caitlin Edwards, from Cardiff. “Although most children are excited about flying, because they don’t know how to balance their ears like adults do, sucking on a sweet can help relieve the pressure in their ears. We also suggest bringing a drink for them to sip from, perhaps in a glass they know, as drinking can also help prevent the cabin pressure affecting them too much. For older children who understand, it’s worth explaining what ear popping is, so they don’t get a nasty surprise during the flight.”
Be super organized
“Before you go on holiday, make sure you check the accommodation you’re staying in to find out how much you’ll need to pay,” advises Mari-Carmen Sanchez-Morris, founder of Fit Mama and mother of three. “For example, if you have a small child, does the room include a travel cot and do you need to bring sheets for it?”
She also recommends bringing a UV-protective sleeping umbrella, a portable fan to attach to the stroller, large squares of muslin (to use as cooling blankets and for shade) and a thermos that can chill bottles to prevent tantrums. And suction-cup spinner toys are also a must, she says, as they can be stuck to airplane windows or highchair tables to keep babies entertained.