'SNL' Wonders What Men Will Do After Football Season Ends


The Super Bowl may still be two weeks away, but as far as “Saturday Night Live” is concerned, this is the last weekend to experience authentic NFL football.

This latest “SNL” broadcast, hosted by Dakota Johnson and featuring musical guest Justin Timberlake, began with a parody of CBS' coverage of the AFC championship game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Baltimore Ravens, featuring Andrew Dismukes and James Austin Johnson playing. hosts Tony Romo and Jim Nantz.

Dismukes began with some enthusiasm for the game: “We have two generational talents at quarterback,” he said. “Two elite defenders. I expect this to be an all-out battle for the next three hours.” Then a flicker of emotion came over him as he added, “And after that, it was all over.”

“All over?” -Johnson asked.

“Football,” Dismukes said. “After today, it's just… done.”

Yes, there's the Super Bowl, but as Dismukes said, “That's not real football. The Super Bowl is for commercials, for Usher and for people who never watch football and ask how many points a touchdown is worth. “Today is the last day of real football just for us.”

The rest of the CBS broadcast team attempted to make peace with this eventuality. “What are men supposed to do on Sundays now?” asked Mikey Day, who played analyst Bill Cowher. “Just going to your friends' houses for no reason?”

He noted that football is the last televised event that the entire United States still watches.

A smile crossed the face of Kenan Thompson, who played commentator James Brown, as he responded: “Especially live. “There is no other live television that can be viewed even remotely.”

Devon Walker, who played Nate Burleson, declared: “Our entire country is upside down. Are people getting upset because 'Barbie' has been snubbed? What about 'Yellowstone'? Zero Emmy nominations?

Michael Longfellow, playing Phil Simms, agreed: “'Yellowstone' is our 'Barbie,'” he said.

Day added: “And I understand that Margot Robbie was snubbed, really. But, I'm sorry, but are they going after Gosling? “Ken was the first time I felt seen in a movie.”

It's been more than 20 years since “SNL” hosted “The Barry Gibb Talk Show,” a recurring sketch for then-cast member Jimmy Fallon (who played the Bee Gees' titular singer) and Timberlake, a frequent guest (who played his fellow brother). , Robin Gibb). And it's been more than a decade since the segment was last featured, in a 2013 episode hosted by Fallon, in which Madonna and Barry Gibb himself appeared in cameos.

While that would have been a fitting swan song for “The Barry Gibb Talk Show,” rest assured, the sketch will live on. From the moment Fallon appeared in Dakota Johnson's monologue, dressed in full Barry Gibb gear, it seemed inevitable that he would return to embody the singer's distinctive breathy falsetto and that Timberlake would be sitting next to him like a shy incarnation of Robin. If you're over 30 and have ever seen “The Barry Gibb Talk Show,” rest assured it's the same sketch you know and love, now updated with jokes about “Bluey” and “Saltburn.”

In an episode that seemed largely removed from the present day, the sketch that came closest to the present day was this one about Stanley mugs, the glasses that have suddenly become more ubiquitous than Taylor Swift and the target of at least one conflict very difficult to explain. heist.

The product featured here is Big Dumb Cups (wink, wink!) and their apathetic spokespeople, played by Dakota Johnson, Chloe Fineman and Heidi Gardner, go over some of their selling points: “This is the cup that says: 'I'. I'm a virgin, but I also have six kids,'” Dakota Johnson said. Fineman added: “It's the mug that says, 'My favorite rapper?' That's Kesha.'”

It's also perfect for holding a glass of Josh Cellars wine, the inexpensive alcoholic beverage that, as we learned in this sketch, also exists.

Don't be deterred by the placid and seemingly routine beginning of this filmed segment. Although it begins with Dismukes as a young man watching old home movies with his meek father (Day), mother (Dakota Johnson), and grandmother (Sarah Sherman), it takes a sharp and very funny turn to the right when Dismukes pulls out a VHS tape. . simply labeled “big announcement.”

“That was the day I found out I was going to be a dad,” Day says sweetly.

And indeed it is: it's an old episode of a Maury Povich-style daytime talk show, where younger, much more dissolute incarnations of the characters fight over the results of a paternity test. The sweet little shrug that grown-up, matronly Dakota Johnson gives Dismukes, as she gapes at her younger self strutting across the stage, makes the entire sketch worth it.

On the Weekend Update desk, hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che discussed the outcome of the Trump-Carroll defamation trial and the 2024 presidential election.

Jost began:

The jury in his defamation case ordered Donald Trump to pay writer E. Jean Carroll $83.3 million, and Trump is a billionaire, so obviously he immediately asked your grandmother for five dollars. They ordered Trump to pay $83 million. That's how unpleasant it is. For perspective, OJ Simpson only had to pay $33 million for a double murder.

From off-screen, Che interrupted: “He didn't even do it.”

Jost laughed, recovered and continued:

This trial must have driven Trump crazy. The judge kept telling him to shut up; The jury made him pay triple what the victim asked for; Even the courtroom sketch artist made him look like that lady whose face was ripped off by a monkey. The only way this could have been worse for Trump is if they took away his business, which is, of course, what will happen in next week's trial.

Che picked it up:

After Ron DeSantis endorsed Donald Trump, he called him “a really great person” and promised to stop calling him Ron DeSanctimonious. Well, it's like a wise man once said:

Che played a video of DeSantis telling a crowd, “You may be the most useless Republican in America, but if you kiss the ring, he'll say you're wonderful.”

Then the screen showed Che again, who nodded.

“Well,” he said and shrugged.

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