A newlywed has revealed how they were ultimately disappointed by his best man’s “low effort” speech during their wedding.
In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit form “Wedding,” the newlywed whose username is u/melindalisten asked if they were wrong to be “upset” at their best man for “terribly” improvising his speech at the wedding. The Reddit user also noted that long before the wedding, they had discussed the speech with their best man.
“[I asked] “Well in advance, we will let you know if you would be happy to give the speech and then if you would still be happy to do so a couple of weeks beforehand,” they wrote. “I said if it wasn’t because he didn’t feel comfortable or whatever, I would ask my other very good friend to give a speech. He said no, he wants to do it.”
The newlyweds went on to note that when they spoke to the best man about the speech, a couple of weeks before the wedding, he had not yet written. However, the Reddit user expressed that they weren’t necessarily worried at the time, as they were simply giving him advice on writing the speech.
“I thought okay, there’s still plenty of time, I thought a little more enthusiasm would be nice. “I just told him not to worry and sent him some online links with tips on how to write a speech in case he was struggling,” they continued.
However, the original poster (OP) shared that once the rehearsal dinner began, they learned that the best man had not yet written a speech. From there, they discovered that his friend was not planning to write the speech before the wedding.
“As if the wedding were the next day. She hadn’t even written it, she was planning to ‘improvise’. Just don’t write anything and see what comes to mind,” they added.
The newlyweds went on to share more context about their best man, stating that he is “not the type of person who can improvise a speech.” They stated that while his friend is a “great conversationalist and storyteller” and “very charismatic,” he is not the “stereotypical person” who could get away with improvising a best man speech.
They went on to remember that once it was time for the best man to give the speech at the wedding, the occasion was quite disappointing and short.
“Then, when it’s time for his speech after the others’ charms, which lasted about 5 minutes each, he gets up… and says about three sentences,” they added. “That’s it. It lasted about 30 seconds. It was just, shit. This whole thing was clearly very low effort.”
They concluded that while they have not told the best man about the incident, they still feel the speech was “quite disrespectful.” They also added that the situation was “the icing on the cake” for them, since they have been “silently questioning the friendship” for different reasons that are not related to the wedding.
In the comments of the Reddit post, many people supported the newlywed amid their feelings of frustration towards their friend. People also encouraged them to examine the friendship and problems they had with their best man before the wedding.
“I would focus on those other ‘unrelated reasons’ and figure out your friendship from there,” one wrote. “‘I’m mad because your speech sucked at my wedding’ isn’t going to make you sound very good when ending a friendship.”
“Unfortunately, someone who isn’t naturally good at speech writing/delivering won’t magically become good when given the chance,” another agreed. “But the lack of preparation/understanding of what it meant to you after several conversations definitely speaks to larger underlying issues.”
“[It’snottheidioticattackthat’sannoyingbutitalsoseemslikeyouknewwhattoexpect”wroteathirdparty“Youprobablyshouldhavechosensomeoneelseifyouhadfriendshipproblems”[Noeselidiotaquesesientemolestonoperotambiénparecequesabíasquéesperar”escribióuntercero”Probablementedeberíashaberelegidoaotrapersonasiyateníasproblemasenlaamistad”[Notthea**holeforfeelingannoyednobutitalsosoundslikeyouknewwhattoexpect”athirdwrote“Probablyshould’vechosensomeoneelseifyoualreadyhadissuesinthefriendship”
Other people expressed how they could relate to the newlyweds’ situation, noting that they have had situations where they have been disappointed by their close friends’ short speeches at their weddings.
“I was in the same boat as my Ministry of Health. It’s a horrible place to be, no doubt. “It’s okay to feel like the effort isn’t equitable and for that to raise questions,” one wrote.
“We had the exact same scenario at our wedding with my husband and his best man. She always had the option to back out and insisted on giving a speech. She was there for a total of maybe a minute at most, improvising and trying to crack jokes like she does at her open mic nights. She just didn’t get it right. “My husband deserved so much more than that,” wrote another.
