A mum has sparked debate after speaking out about a new parenting method she claims to have discovered.
Monica Millington recently took to Instagram to talk about her experience raising her son abroad and learning about the “European” method of parenting. “The art of European parenting was a very exciting concept for me, especially as an American who grew up with a certain (scary) idea of what motherhood was supposed to be like,” her caption began, along with a video montage of family moments.
“I read the book Raising Baby and while it was surprising (and I think any future father should read it), it was fun because, without knowing the concept of French fatherhood, Tom and I had already discussed that this was the way we wanted to raise our son.”
Millington and her husband, Tom, currently live in Singapore for work.
“Before I understood this way of parenting (or realized that parenting could be anything we wanted), I honestly thought my house was going to have to look like Fisher-Price vomited everywhere, that I would have to spend my life days in mom playgroups playing pranks with strangers and spending Saturdays in dirty play gyms,” the mother continued to explain in her caption.
“Don't get me wrong, we have SOME of that in the mix, but we also figured we could take Cruz to our favorite beach for the weekend, where he could play in the sand and explore while we drank our fancy lattes.” .
The mother also added that she takes her son with them to more “adult restaurants” so he can try their food and also allows him to accompany him to dinner parties.
Millington explains in the overlay text of his video that he sees “European parenting” as involving incorporating the child into his or her current routine rather than centering the routine around the child, meaning only completely avoiding “childhood activities.” .
She explained that she was introducing the concept on social media because she wished someone had highlighted to her that it was an option before she became a mother herself.
However, the comments section was divided between those who supported the concept and those who did not.
Some commenters mentioned how grateful they were to have been raised this way.
“I was raised mostly like that. My parents took me on vacations to historical places, we cooked and baked, and I listened to music, watched movies, and read books that weren't “for kids” and I'm so grateful… I grew up with adults having interesting things. conversations and learning interesting things instead of watching Blue's Clues. Without a doubt, a lovely childhood,” wrote one commenter.
“That's how I was raised,” another commenter agreed. “My parents took me everywhere and brought me coloring books and toys to entertain me. I definitely got bored at times, but I also felt like they really enjoyed having me around.
“It feels like a lot of parents do 'kid activities' but then resent having to do them and can't wait to put their kids to bed and serve them wine.”
Other commenters had a different view of the parenting method, stating that it can create a feeling of resentment between them and their parents because they never took into consideration what their child enjoyed.
“I was raised like that too (I'm Dutch). It was very lonely and I personally felt a little betrayed because my parents felt it wasn't important to plan activities that I would also like. Now I'm 28 years old and I don't talk to them anymore,” explained one commenter.
Another commenter agreed, writing, “'Kids' activities' exist for a reason. Sure, this is beneficial, but so is caring for your little human being.”
Others disagreed with the suggestion that what Millington described was “European” parenting, with one person writing: “We Europeans want to be kept out of this. “We are busy enjoying the children's activities and we don't want to be a part of this…”
“Do you think all Europeans are equal parents or something?” Stupid made up trend,” someone else wrote, while another said, “I have no idea what you think 'Europeans' are, but I'm European and I'm 100 percent a dad and I live for my kids. In fact, many European cultures (there is not just one) are incredibly good at cherishing and prioritizing children.”
