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A man has been defended online after revealing why he told his family he no longer wanted to attend their monthly dinners.
In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit forum “Am I The I**hole?”, a man explained that his family has been hosting monthly dinners, which are “nicer than your average family dinner,” since he was a child. He noted that while his father used to host the monthly event, now all family members take turns hosting it to “lighten the load.”
While the man’s wife was initially “excited to be a part” of the dinners, he was the one who did most of the food preparation for the party. However, when she wanted to start cooking for the monthly dinner, her husband’s family was not too happy.
“Apparently my family got along well with my wife before that point, but they were too harsh on her food (with the exception of my two younger brothers),” the Reddit user wrote. “She tried to make them happy, but she failed. I told them they could be nicer. They said she should cook better or cook different things.”
He said his wife “didn’t prepare anything” that his family didn’t normally eat, but they still didn’t enjoy her food. From then on, she “became frustrated” with the situation while her husband “became distrustful.”
That's when the man decided to host a monthly dinner party and tell his family that he had cooked it, even though it had actually been his wife, just to see their reaction. After recalling how his family would criticise his wife's cooking, specifically her steak and potatoes, which other friends had “gone crazy” about, he revealed how his family responded to his plan.
“When my family thought I had cooked it, they loved it. They said it was so good that my wife decided to let a real talent take over,” he continued. “That it was so nice to have something a little different (curry) and all these delicious things.”
Even though his younger brother and sister knew he hadn't cooked the meal, they went ahead with the plan. When the Reddit user's family found out his wife had made the meal, they “went to great lengths to be up to no good,” they said, resulting in an awkward meal. The man then decided he didn't want to participate in the monthly events.
“The rest of the dinner was spent in tense silence and my wife opened her eyes. I told her I didn’t want to have dinners like that anymore and that she was my priority,” he added. “She felt a little bad. I told her we could have dinner sometimes with my younger brother and sister. It’s less stressful anyway.”
When he and his wife skipped two family dinners in a row, his parents and siblings “started asking him questions.” They also urged him to attend future monthly dinners, something he said he would not do. “I told them each time we would not go again, but missing them twice made it sink in. They told me we had to be there. I told them never again. My wife does not deserve their disrespect,” he wrote. “I told them they ruined what they wanted by being jerks to her.”
He explained that his family then accused him of “overreacting, making decisions that greatly damaged the relationship and treating them badly simply for having problems with [his] “My wife’s food.” His family also mentioned that he did not want his future children to miss these dinners, which was a comment that “reached everyone’s ears.” [his] wife a little.”
The post quickly went viral, receiving over 16,000 upvotes. In the comments, several people defended the couple's decision to skip monthly dinners, claiming that it seems like the Reddit user's family has bigger issues with his wife. They also praised the man for prioritizing his wife.
“It’s pretty clear that the problem isn’t their food, it’s her. For some reason, they don’t seem to like it. Good for you for standing up to them,” one person wrote.
“How ironic! They were the ones who made the decisions that damaged the relationship,” said another Reddit user. “When they got caught, they stood their ground instead of apologizing and analyzing the reason for their behavior so they could grow and move on. You did the right thing by your wife and family.”
“They don’t have a problem with their food, they have a problem with her. You are a very good husband who stands up for your wife and doesn’t tolerate that nonsense. They ruined everything for everyone and now they are paying the consequences,” wrote a third. “Start a new tradition that includes showing love and respect for everyone, especially someone who cooks them a meal. Only include the ones who are real.”
Other people gave their advice on how to handle the situation, urging the Reddit user to talk to his family about the way his wife was being treated.
“You really need to have a conversation with your family about why they are mean to your wife. This behavior is unlikely to change just because she stopped cooking (they will start criticizing something else about her),” one wrote. “Also, NO, you do NOT want your future children to be around people who criticize their mother for no reason. You do not want them to think it is okay for them to act like this themselves, or for their future partners to treat your children this way.”
