A father has been criticized for not returning the $100 his daughter received at her “no gifts” birthday party.
In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit forum “Am I The I**hole,” a man asked if he made a mistake by keeping the gift. He noted that while the invitation to his seven-year-old son’s birthday party said “no gifts,” there were some people who brought “wrapped gifts.”
However, when a pair of parents, whom she referred to as Joe and Sue, arrived at the party, the birthday girl asked them if they brought any gifts, taking them by surprise.
“Sue saw the other gifts and seemed clearly embarrassed that she hadn’t brought one, and said she thought the invitation said ‘no gifts,’” she explained. “We were standing in front of the other parents who had just given their gifts, so I didn’t think much of it and said something like, ‘No, no, you’re right, we didn’t ask for anything; she’s spoiled enough as it is, ha ha. ’”
Later, Sue decided to make a card and added it to the pile, though the Reddit user insisted he was unaware of this. Later, Joe and Sue's son “ran in front of everyone and asked [the birthday girl] to open the card.” Even the Reddit poster didn't plan on having her daughter open gifts at the party.
“My daughter pulled out a $100 bill and everyone's jaw dropped, basically, and of course my daughter was elated (followed by my daughter opening the other very small, inexpensive gifts),” she continued.
The father added that while Joe then “seemed upset and withdrawn [during] The rest of the party, “Sue,” acted like this was a completely normal gift.
She concluded by explaining that once she told her partner what happened, they “got upset” and felt that, as hosts, “they might have done something wrong by not returning the gift,” since Joe and Sue “clearly felt guilty” about giving the $100.
The post quickly went viral on Reddit, with more than 6,600 upvotes. In the comments, several people criticized the father for not saying something to his daughter when he asked Sue about a gift, especially since it was a “no-gift” party.
“It's very rude to say 'no gifts' and then let your child ask someone if they brought a gift!” wrote one. “At the very least (since we can't directly control what comes out of a child's mouth), you should have immediately intervened to respond: 'Of course not, honey, remember we told people not to bring gifts because [whatever reason you discussed already].'”
“This is primarily a learning opportunity for your daughter,” another wrote. “She created an awkward moment by asking if they brought a gift. But she's only seven years old, so it was a natural question. She takes the opportunity to teach your daughter why that question is rude and explain why she needs to get permission in the future before opening gifts in front of everyone. Tell her that she didn't do anything wrong, but that giving and receiving gifts can be complicated in the adult world.”
A third added: “You really missed the opportunity to correct your daughter and say to Sue, ‘You’re right. The invitation said no gifts would be accepted, and you being here is exactly the gift we wanted. ’ And remind your daughter how rude it is to ask for a gift in a low voice. This surely wouldn’t have made the person giving the gift feel uncomfortable – she knows you said no gifts would be accepted and she made the choice to bring it.”
Others also encouraged the father to return the $100 to Joe and Sue, with one writing: “I wouldn’t have let the family go without quietly returning that $100 to Sue, but still, it’s better to have it returned after the fact than nothing at all. Under no circumstances should the daughter keep the money.”
“You should give them their money back,” wrote another. “I can understand that you were surprised when it happened, but now you have had time to think about it and you just go visit them and pay them back. They clearly felt they had to give something and probably only had a $100 bill. If not, from now on you will buy $100 gifts for their children.”
