Let's talk about sex | Tips for a healthy sex life with kidney disease


Hug, massage, kiss, and be intimate in other ways when sex seems exhausting.

Dialysis and kidney disease often bring physical changes that can affect your sex life. While it may take some patience and experimentation, don't lose hope. With open communication, creativity, and patience, you can maintain a healthy sex life.

Let's talk about sex

Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian homes. As a result, most people facing sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often turn to unverified online sources or follow unscientific advice from their friends. To address widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com publishes this weekly sex column, titled 'Let's Talk About Sex.' We hope to start conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.

In this article, we will share some tips you can adapt your sex life while suffering from kidney disease.

Dialysis and kidney disease often bring physical changes that can affect your sex life. Don't worry, you can still have a satisfying intimate relationship. Dialysis affects people differently, so the key is to stay open and honest with your partner. Your sex life and your intimacy with your partner can still be an important part of your life on dialysis. While it may take some patience and experimentation, don't lose hope. With open communication, creativity, and patience, you can maintain a healthy sex life.

How Kidney Disease and Dialysis Affect Intimacy

Hormonal changes: Hormonal levels fluctuate, which decreases sexual desire. Supplements or medications may help, so talk to your doctor. Making lifestyle changes to improve energy, such as light exercise, better sleep, and reducing stress, can also help increase libido.

Fatigue and low energy: Fatigue kills your mood. Try scheduling intimacy when you feel most energized. Quickies and naps together afterwards are also options. Hug, massage, kiss, and be intimate in other ways when sex seems exhausting.

Erectile dysfunction (ED): Men with kidney disease are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. This may be the result of nerve damage, blood vessel problems, hormonal imbalances, or side effects of certain medications.

Low self-esteem: Self-esteem can be affected by bodily changes. Know that you are still desirable and focus on pleasuring each other. Try positions where catheters and fistulas are less noticeable or intimate in low light. Lingerie or role-playing can boost confidence.

Vaginal dryness: Lubrication may be needed more frequently. Use water-based lubricants and apply them liberally before and during sex. For women, regularly used vaginal moisturizers can also help.

Dedicate time to intimacy in your dialysis program

When you're on dialysis, finding time to be intimate with your partner can be a challenge. Between dialysis treatments, doctor visits, dietary restrictions, and fatigue, your schedule may seem tight. However, making space for physical and emotional intimacy should remain a priority in your relationship.

  • Talk openly about your needs and limitations: Be honest with your partner about how you feel and what you need. Tell them if you are too tired to have sex or if your access site hurts. Consider trying different positions or activities that are more comfortable for you. Commitment and understanding are key.
  • Focus on quality over quantity: You may not be able to be intimate as often as you would like, so make the most of the times you can. Cuddle, massage each other with scented oil, engage in foreplay, and be fully present in the moment.
  • Get creative with your schedule: If your dialysis schedule only allows you to be intimate on certain days, you may need to get creative. Wake up a little earlier before your treatment or take advantage of the time afterward while you still feel energetic. You might also consider an afternoon treat when you have a day free from dialysis and doctor visits. The time of day doesn't really matter as long as you make connecting with your partner a priority.
  • Make time for your partner: Between dialysis treatments, work or family obligations, and life in general, it can be difficult to find time for your relationship. But making your partner a priority is key. Try to set aside time each week just for the two of you to connect emotionally and physically. Even simple things like cooking together, giving each other massages, or doing light exercises like walking can help you stay close.
  • Explore other intimate activities: While sex may be out of the question for some, there are many other ways to be intimate. Engage in foreplay such as kissing, caressing, and oral sex. Try different positions that don't put pressure on your access site.
  • Stay positive: Having kidney disease and being on dialysis can understandably put a strain on your body and mood. However, maintaining an optimistic outlook will help your overall well-being and your relationship. Make an effort each day to appreciate the good in your life, express gratitude for your partner's support, and focus on moments of joy whenever possible. Your positive attitude will inspire your partner and bring comfort to both of you during this difficult time.
  • Staying sexually active and intimate while on dialysis is possible, but it requires effort and a willingness to adapt to your body's needs. With open communication, creativity, and a commitment to quality over quantity, you can maintain a healthy sex life despite the challenges of your medical condition. Make time for intimacy and your relationship will improve for it.

Kidney disease and pregnancy.

Kidney disease makes pregnancy much more challenging. While it does not directly affect sperm production, it increases the risks for both mother and baby. Women with kidney disease face increased chances of preeclampsia, worsening kidney function, and premature birth. If you have kidney disease and are considering getting pregnant, it is absolutely crucial to have an in-depth conversation with your doctor beforehand. They will assess your individual risks, discuss ways to control them, and help you make the safest decision for both you and your potential child.

There you have it: dealing with kidney disease can really affect your sex life. But the good news is that with a little effort, understanding, and open communication, you and your partner can find ways to stay intimate and enjoy sex again. Don't lose hope and remember that you are not alone. Many couples go through similar challenges, but find solutions with patience, creativity, and a sense of adventure. The most important thing is that you and your partner are comfortable. Approach it with a spirit of joy and fun. With the right attitude, you can overcome obstacles and reconnect in new and exciting ways. Your relationship is worth it!

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