At first, Cathlene Pineda was reluctant to join the Atwater Village Moms Facebook group.
The jazz pianist and composer doesn't like Facebook much and distrusts online communities. But she agreed because, as she put it, “Some other moms were like, 'You have to be part of this group.'”
After joining in 2021, he realized there were benefits. When she needed a reliable mechanic, the Atwater Moms told her who to call. When she was ready to sleep train her baby, she recommended books like “The Happy Sleeper” and “The No-Cry Sleep Solution.” When she went to Las Vegas, she was told to stay at the Cosmopolitan.
Then, a few months into her membership, she was diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer. She had a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old at home and couldn't imagine how he would overcome the long and complicated treatment that her doctors prescribed. Not knowing what else to do, she turned to Atwater Moms for help.
“I was expecting what I normally get, which is some answers,” he said. Instead, more than 90 women commented on her post. They shared lists of specialists and free resources, including how to sign up for food services and get a one-time cash grant. But for Pineda, her validation was what helped the most.
“Some of the women who commented had been through this when their kids were the same age as mine and said, 'You can do this,'” she said. “I didn't even need the advice. I just needed to feel real.”
Founded in 2011 as a way for new mothers in Atwater Village to meet each other, Atwater Village Mom's Group has evolved over time into a crowdsourcing powerhouse with over 6,000 members spread across Los Angeles and around the world. One member in a recent post called it the best advisory group on the internet. Another described it in an interview as “Yelp times 100.”
“Obviously I still Google things, but before I do, I ask myself, 'Can I ask Atwater Village Moms?'” said Swati Kapila, actress and mother of a 2-year-old boy. “People jokingly call it Moogle all the time: Mom Google. It’s mom’s mutual help.”
If you have questions about summer camps, current babysitter rates, the best local preschools, or where to go for date night, Atwater Moms has answers. They helped each other find gifts for their partners, exchanged recommendations on the best parks for birthday parties, and compared experiences with pediatricians, dentists, and children's barbers. At the same time, they have supported each other through life's greatest challenges, many of which extend far beyond the birth and care of a child.
Daryl Dickerson, a mother of two who teaches gardening at a charter school, bought a car from a mother in the group. It was the first step in her divorce. When Sharon Sognalian's apartment rental fell through, the legal clerk and mother of a 12-year-old boy moved into another member's back house.
Tanya Reyes, a mother of three who teaches at a school for pregnant and parenting teens in Echo Park, said Atwater Moms members have donated strollers, car seats and used clothing to her students. Every time she posts her Amazon wish list to the group, packages soon appear at school.
“This community has allowed me to serve my community of students,” he said. “It's moms supporting moms.”
“People jokingly call it Moogle all the time: Mom Google. It’s mom’s mutual help.”
— Swati Kapila, Atwater Village Moms member
Reyes has also received other types of support from the group. When he recently posted about the challenges of getting his “neurospicy” son out of the house each morning, he got 87 responses. Like Pineda, she said the solidarity of her fellow mothers was even more valuable than her advice. “It's good to know I'm not crazy, this is really happening.”
Brandi Jordan, a parenting specialist who has worked as a doula for celebrities including Julia Stiles, Mandy Moore and Megan Fox, never expected this kind of community support when she founded Atwater Village Moms in 2011, shortly after Facebook first introduced their group function. At the time, she ran a boutique called Cradle Company that catered to the moms and babies of Atwater. Her oldest son, now 16, was only 3 years old.
She and another mother, Leonora Pitts, started the group to connect with other women with babies in the area and arrange occasional meet-ups at the park. She had heard of similar groups on the Westside, but she didn't think they would be her vibe. “I'm not trying to figure out how to pluck my baby's eyebrows,” she said. “But good for you if that's your thing.”
Initially, Jordan and her co-founder aimed to have 25 women join Atwater Village Moms, but word spread and interest skyrocketed. They then thought the group could reach 200, but it quickly surpassed that number as well. The criteria to join then were the same as they are now: you must be a parent, identify as female or non-binary, and while you don't have to live in Atwater Village, or even Los Angeles, you must be invited by another member to join. (A discussion is ongoing about whether men can join the group, but for now they remain excluded.)
“This community has allowed me to serve my community of students. “It’s moms supporting moms.”
— Tanya Reyes, Atwater Village Moms
Jordan doesn't have demographic data on the group, but said that, historically, members tend to be white, wealthy and live on the east side. But in recent years there has been a change. “We've had more women of color joining,” said Jordan, who is black. “As people have seen, it's a safe space, they share it with more women of color.”
Atwater Village Moms has gone through different phases over the years. At first, discussions focused on places to go with young children and member meetings. Over time, it became a general resource for any questions about Los Angeles and beyond. The posts became more political after the 2016 election and again after what Jordan describes as “the era of George Floyd,” when moms in the group began speaking more openly about race.
“It was difficult, but as a group we didn't give up,” he said. “We have the idea that this place is not safe, it is brave. We're going to make mistakes, we're going to get over it, we're going to talk about it and we're going to listen to different opinions. And we started setting rules to support that.”
Before joining, group members must agree to a set of rules that include respecting everyone's privacy (no screenshots of posts), refraining from hate speech or bullying, and refraining from deleting a post because it generates unwanted comments. (this is reason for elimination).
“Anything that affects women and mothers can be talked about in the group and we don't limit that conversation,” Jordan said. “But we also tell people that they have to understand that people are going to express opposing opinions and that has to be okay.”
Lauren Amaro, a communications professor at Pepperdine University who has studied online moms groups (and who recently found a general practitioner in a Facebook moms group in Camarillo), said it's rare for a group the size of Atwater Moms to be seen in such a positive light by its members. These communities can turn into mom-shaming, which is especially painful for new parents.
“The fact that women are willing to trust other women on the Internet is something beautiful and necessary and sometimes, depending on the topic and context, reckless,” she said. “There's a very wide range of how these mothers' groups work.”
Careful moderation, along with clear and consistent rules, can help groups like Atwater Moms thrive, she said.
Liza Sacilioc, a communications specialist who has been a member of the group for more than a decade, said Jordan is a skilled moderator. “Brandi does a really good job of seeing people and laying down the ground rules without her coming across as a slap in the face,” she said. “We are a very respectful group.”
“We have the idea that this place is not safe, it is brave. “We're going to make mistakes, we're going to get over it, we're going to talk about it and we're going to listen to different opinions.”
— Brandi Jordan, co-founder and moderator of Atwater Village Moms
Three years after joining Atwater Moms, Pineda is grateful for everything she has gained as a member. She describes herself as an introvert and said it was unlike her to post about her cancer diagnosis to a group of 6,000 people. But somehow, doing it at Atwater Village Moms felt safe.
“In order to share that, I had to feel like they would respond in an appropriate and helpful way, and in many Facebook groups that's not the case,” she said. “Looking back on some of those comments, they said, 'I don't have any advice, I'm just sending you love and keeping you close to my heart.' That's all. “Everyone was very respectful.”
And today, with her cancer in remission, she often finds herself answering other women's questions, whether they're about cancer, parenting, or just life in general.
“If you can, you want to help someone,” he said. “It takes five minutes to say, 'This worked for me, I don't know if it will work for you.' And also: you're doing a great job.'”
