A husband has been criticized for refusing to make dinner for his wife because she doesn't make him breakfast.
In a recent post shared on the popular “Am I the Asshole?” On the Reddit forum, the man went on to detail his routine with his wife, with whom he shares two children. He explained that his wife usually takes the “morning shift” with her children, which includes getting them both up, giving them breakfast, and taking them to daycare.
She then shared how she is in charge of the nighttime routine, during which she picks up her kids from daycare, makes dinner, and helps them get ready for bed. He also clarified how he and his wife spend time with their children in the evenings.
“He usually gets home between 6:30 and 7:00 pm and the whole family has 30 minutes together before the kids go to bed. We normally spend time reading to them,” she wrote. “You have to travel an hour [or more] (depending on traffic) to work in each direction. The children will arrive at daycare at eight in the morning and I will pick them up around four in the afternoon. “I work from home and start around 7am and finish between 3 and 3:30pm.”
He noted that the problem with him and his wife is the breakfast rules, as he said she initially agreed to make breakfast every day for the family if he made dinner. However, he later criticized his wife, claiming that while she prepares breakfast for her children, she does not prepare anything for him.
“For the last month, she hasn't done it for me or told me it's done (I asked her to give me a general time but she keeps changing the time),” he continued. “One day they eat at 7 in the morning and then get dressed, other days she gives them toast before getting in the car.”
He stated that when he told his wife “multiple times” that she was “inconsiderate” for not preparing breakfast for him, she did not agree with him.
“We had an argument and she told me she was at home so I should prepare my own food. “I explained to her that she may be at home but I am doing my job,” she added. “Yesterday she did nothing and I had enough.”
As a result of his frustrations, he did not prepare anything for dinner for his wife and when she asked him why, he told her that “she is home and can make her own food.” He noted that they then had a “huge argument,” in which his wife called him an “asshole.”
In an edit to his post, he clarified his and his wife's routine, explaining that she has the kids for an hour in the morning and he has them for two or three hours at night. He also explained that he used to do the morning shift for the past two years and the only reason that has changed now is because of his wife's schedule.
The Reddit post quickly went viral, with more than 5,300 upvotes. In the comments, many people came to his wife's defense, acknowledging that she has a long commute and that she might be in a hurry to get her children ready for the day. They also expressed how the husband's nighttime routine could be a little less chaotic than his wife's morning routine.
“I think the problem here is that in the morning there is a deadline. You have to get to work on time and with a one hour commute there is some variability due to traffic. So your priority tomorrow will be speed,” wrote one of them. “At night it's different, because you won't get fired if you don't get the kids to bed on time. There's just less pressure there. (Of course, we all want the kids to go to bed early, but it's not the same level of pressure as having to keep a job.)
“I think it is necessary to reach a different agreement. Because if you have to get all the kids ready for daycare, cook them lunch, get to daycare on time, AND get to work on time… Sorry, but make your own breakfast, buddy. You have a long commute and I'm sure it will be a busy work day. Everyone is busy, I know. But that's part of life with children,” added another.
Other people criticized the Reddit user for refusing to prepare dinner for his wife, while claiming that he could prepare his own food in the mornings.
“Mornings are by nature more chaotic and less regimented. Expecting breakfast to be served on a schedule is strange, have a banana when you wake up before work. Punishing her for not making dinner is also strange behavior,” one wrote.
“Doubt. You're at home. You can easily have a bowl of cereal in the morning while you work. She's getting the kids ready and out the door. Dinner is very different. Don't be like that,” added another.
