Stress is something we often deal with in adult life, but what do we do when our children face stress at school?
From playground dynamics and bullying, to academic pressures and keeping up with homework, there can be many difficult scenarios for young people to navigate.
However, there are some simple and practical ways in which parents and carers can help children learn to cope with stress when we leave them at the school gates.
How can you tell if your child is stressed?
According to Liat Hughes Joshi, author of five parenting books, there are signs you can watch for when it comes to your child being stressed, starting with anything that's out of the ordinary for them.
Watch for small changes in behavior and patterns, such as not eating as much or eating more than usual, or if you have difficulty sleeping and are more tired than usual; These could all be signs that you are having difficulty with some things.
Encourage them to talk openly about their feelings.
Have you ever asked your child what happened at school and heard “nothing” as the usual response?
Alicia Eaton, a Harley Street psychotherapist specializing in children's emotional well-being and behavior change, points out that children don't always find it easy to open up, so be patient and spending quality time with them can help them talk about their feelings. emotions.
“The more time you spend with them, the more likely they are to share their feelings and concerns,” Eaton says. “I would like to spend more time together, even on weekends.”
Think about the best way to approach the topic.
How you approach the conversation about stress at school with your child depends on their individual learning style and how they show their emotions, Eaton advises.
“If you have a visual child, it would be good for them to draw a picture, as it will be a way for them to express their emotions and then they can turn those drawings into positive ones,” she says. “If you have an auditory child, they like to listen and listen to words, they want explanations. Listening to calming words is what will calm them down and listening to music.”
Help them channel their stress into something creative.
Eaton warns against using negative phrases like “don't worry” when talking to him about your child's worries; may not have the desired effect. Instead, try creating a worry box with them. “Parents can go around in circles trying to allay their children's fears, and they're not going to do it, because that hasn't happened yet, it's in the future,” he explains.
With a worry box, your child can write all their worries on pieces of paper and then close them in the lidded box. When the events that worried them have happened, they can take the worries out of the box and smash them to pieces.
Help them develop positive coping techniques.
There are practical and simple activities your child can do when they are stressed, but they may not know where to turn. Hughes Joshi suggests creating a “wellness menu” for them. It could be a chart you put on the refrigerator or something for them to keep in their room.
On the menu will be several things that your child likes to do and can do when he or she is feeling worried or depressed. It could be something as simple as a hug from a parent or time spent drawing or writing.
“It could be something like taking a bath with a bath bomb or a candle. [if they are old enough!]”Adds Hughes Joshi. “Help them understand what works for them and then use those coping tactics when they feel stressed”
Children often don't understand that what they are going through is stress about something. Instead, they may complain of a tummy ache or feel sick. If that's the case, Eaton suggests encouraging them to walk outside or running a warm bath for them.
Create a calm environment at home.
One simple trick that could create a calmer, happier atmosphere for your child is to clean up clutter around the home, Eaton says. “Even a tidy house eliminates all the stress and panic before school,” she adds.
Home organization will put an end to worrying about where your lunch box is or finding your backpack and shoes in a hurry before you head out the door.
“Turn off the TV, make sure you're not listening to a lot of horrible news (let's face it, there's too much right now), and instead fill the house with calming, relaxing, comforting music.” Eaton says. “Light a candle if you have lavender or rosemary, that will change the atmosphere of the house and make everyone feel much calmer.”
