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A groom uninvited his father and stepmother to his wedding after they urged him to change his mind about allowing parent-child dancing at the reception.
“I'm getting married (26M) and my fiancée Nella (25F) and I are not doing FOTB, walking the bride down the aisle or doing father/daughter/mother/son dances during the reception,” the soon-to-be husband wrote in a Reddit post shared on the popular forum “Am I The A**hole.”
He explained that the ceremony will include a traditional walk down the aisle, while the reception will feature a first dance for him and his bride. However, the Reddit user and his fiancée did not want any additional dancing during the wedding, such as a father-daughter dance or a mother-son dance. “No one else had any complaints about this except my stepmom,” he said.
The Reddit user explained that his stepmother had married his father when he was six years old. When his mother died three years later, his stepmother became his “primary caregiver.” The groom's stepmother complained to him after learning that there would not be a mother-son dance during the wedding, as she felt she deserved to be honored with a dance. She explained that she had been waiting for the moment and admitted that it hurt her not to be able to experience it with him.
“I told her that neither Nella nor I wanted to have that moment at our wedding,” she wrote. “My stepmother asked me why an exception couldn’t be made. She said that Nella and her father didn’t need to have a father-daughter dance, but that we could still have a mother-son dance.
The groom explained that it “wouldn’t be a mother/son dance,” considering that she is not biologically his mother. “His face when I said this showed how much it hurt him to hear it,” he added. Although the Reddit user noted that his stepmother could never replace his biological mother, she always considered him a “son” and never a “stepson.”
When his father noticed that his wife was upset, he approached the boyfriend and asked if he could “throw my stepmom a bone” and give her this “mom thing.” The Reddit user also claimed that his father shamed him for always keeping his stepmom “at arm's length.”
Unfortunately, his father and stepmother wouldn't take “no” for an answer and repeatedly asked the groom to change his mind. The Reddit user became so frustrated and exhausted by his request that he spoke to his fiancée and they decided that his parents would be kicked out of the wedding if they asked him to reconsider one more time.
“They brought it up again and I did what we had agreed with Nella and told them they were no longer invited to the wedding,” she wrote. “I told them they had crossed that line, that they were requiring me to add something to a wedding that was not theirs and was not in any way funded by them.”
“My stepmom asked me if I would really prefer them not to be there instead of just a dance for the two of us, where she can have a moment where she feels like she gets the recognition of being more than just my stepmom,” she continued. “I told her I would prefer that and that it was their fault for refusing to stop asking.”
While the groom's parents accused him of turning into a version of himself they didn't like, anonymous Reddit users argued against his parents and validated his wedding wishes.
“They were almost harassing you with their persistence,” one user wrote in the comments, while another said: “Yet they didn’t give up after not being invited. Instead of saying, ‘I’m sorry, you’re right, it’s your day,’ they insisted, ‘But I deserve recognition.’”
Someone else pointed out: “This is YOUR wedding, you and your fiancé decide what happens and they should be okay with it.”
“Use their words back on them,” another Reddit user suggested. “They have become people you don’t like and they have done so at a time in your life when they should be supporting you and celebrating your union.”
A fourth person commented: “You’re not doing anything that has to do with parents and children! It’s not even personal!”
