YoIn case you were wondering, the sexiest song of the summer is not Sabrina Carpenter's “Espresso” or Charli XCX's entire album, Golf club. It's actually a viral TikTok sound created by Megan Boni, who states: “I'm looking for a man in finance with a trust fund, 6'5″, blue eyes.”
Boni's 19-second video racked up more than 40 million views (and counting), and her viral song inspired thousands more to confess that they were also looking for a partner who fit that particular profile. One woman commented on Boni's TikTok: “Please add generational wealth somehow.” Another woman visited Canary Wharf in London with a cardboard sign that read: “Looking for a man in finance,” as she searched for potential dates in real time. And a third user gate kept her real financial boyfriend away from the rest of the world. “Keep looking for your man, ladies,” she said. “He is out there.”
For most of the last decade, the term “finance bro” has become the biggest red flag in dating: a pejorative phrase used by women to denote a (usually) white man who works for a company. major financial firm, has terrible hours, and still hasn't shed his frat-brother behavior well into adulthood. Seeing a financial bro at large, young women looked the other way or pretended not to know the difference between Blackstone and BlackRock.
Now, it seems that suddenly (and with the help of Boni's viral video) men in the financial sector have become the most eligible bachelors. Surely, it can't just be a catchy TikTok that has transformed the financial bros from persona non grata to Prince Charming? Or are we just lying to ourselves by pretending that Patagonia vests are really that attractive?
When Sabrina Zohar, professional dating coach and host of the show do the work podcast: First seeing Boni's video appear on her TikTok For You page, she couldn't help but shake her head at those who think this type of “ideal man” actually exists in the real world.
“I feel like the next generation is still holding on to the Disney fairy tale that I'm going to have everything I want because I say I want it, and if I say I want it, then it should be there for me,” Zohar said. The Independent.
Turns out there's someone who actually identified the likelihood of finding a man in finance with a trust fund who's 6'5″ and has blue eyes, and the odds are pretty stacked against us. Rae Hodge, a corporate strategy director based in Los Angeles, posted her own TikTok video in which she broke down (to her husband) an estimate of how many people in America actually fit Boni's description.
“1.95m, do you know how long that is?” Hodge asked her husband Ryan, while standing in front of a presentation of her findings. “It's incredibly tall.”
If you factor in Boni's non-negotiables — she works in finance (1.7 million men in the U.S.), has a trust fund (1.2 percent of Americans), is 6'5″ (a staggering 0.1 percent of men in the U.S.), and has blue eyes (27 percent of men in the U.S.) — and, of course, whether or not she's single, that leaves Boni with just two available men to date in the entire country, according to Hodge's calculations.
“Things aren't looking good for GirlOnCouch,” one TikTok user commented in response.
Of course, there's usually no single reason why videos go viral on the Internet. It could just as well be that we were missing a catchy viral song and Boni's was the one that stuck. For Sabrina Bendory, relationship expert at Dating.com and author of You're Thinking Too Much: Find Lifelong Love by Being Yourself – It wasn’t just the comedic nature of Boni’s video that made it a viral sensation, but it also struck a chord with Gen Z singles.
“This generation is quite demanding about things: they have a long list of requirements before they consider a product worth buying or a job worth doing,” he said. The Independent. “The same attitude carries over to dating and relationships, with this group more likely to openly post about their ‘ideal man’ or ‘perfect partner’ on social media.”
For decades, relationship experts told women that talking about money with a potential date or partner was completely taboo. As women began to make great strides in the job market (though a persistent gender pay gap will never even things out), questions about money became less important once women were able to financially support themselves. That is, until Gen Z began idealizing a hyper-specific aesthetic on TikTok that, in turn, altered their perspectives on dating.
Trends like the “clean girl aesthetic” and “quiet luxury” have dominated TikTok feeds for the past two years, emphasizing understated elegance and avoiding obnoxious displays of wealth. Popular TV shows like Succession have only sparked more interest in the lives of the super-rich, while Sofia Richie's wedding to husband Elliot Grainge transformed the baby of nepotism into a style icon of stealth wealth.
“There is a lot of interest in the lifestyles of the super elite. It's almost a form of escapism, especially given the current state of the economy, and it's easy to get seduced by that lifestyle and imagine what it would be like to literally never have to worry about money, and for your kids to never have to worry. for the money. , and their children, and so on,” Bendory said.
Not to mention, there has been an emergence of young “traditional motherhood” influencers – also known as “traditional wives” – who spend their days in the kitchen and cook meals for their families from scratch. With such a constant influx of traditionalist and greedy content online, it's no surprise that our dating preferences have changed dramatically.
“The fact is that society as a whole holds men who make a lot of money in high regard. And a lot of people don't think there's anything wrong with setting the intention to marry someone with money,” Bendory explained. “Financial stress is extremely difficult and you can't blame someone for wanting to avoid it.”
In fact, many reports have shown that Generation Z faces financial difficulties like no other generation. An estimated 38 percent of American adults born after 1996 have said they face more difficulty feeling financially secure than their parents at the same age, according to a January 2024 Bankrate report. A Bank of America survey found that more than half of Generation Z believe that higher costs are a barrier to their financial success. Between rising housing costs and student loan payments, about two-thirds of Generation Z think they will never have enough money to retire.
“I think we’re in a place now where we’re seeing, generationally, that we can’t do what our parents did,” Zohar said. “We can’t be a one-income household with three kids while someone stays home and takes care of everyone. That ship has already sailed. We can barely support ourselves, let alone our family.”
With so much uncertainty for young people in the economy, it should be no surprise that some women believe that marrying a man who works in finance with a trust fund could help them feel stable enough to achieve their own long-term financial goals. But at what cost? If anything, the viral reaction to Boni's video may have exposed just how much we're willing to sacrifice in a relationship.
Financial stability has always been a factor to take into account when choosing a life partner, but there is no doubt that compatibility, communication style, sexual chemistry or a good sense of humor are much more important. important when it comes to relationships. What happens if you lose your job? Or what if the trust fund is no longer worth it or won't be available for 20 years? Relationship experts agree that dating someone just for their money can increase your chances of being unhappy in a relationship and even increases the chance of a future divorce.
“We forget that there is another side to the coin, which is having the perfect version of who you think you want,” Zohar said. “If that is what you want, then tell me the depth of your relationships. Tell me how satisfied you are, tell me how good you feel in this relationship.”
Looking for a man in finance with a trust fund who is 6’5” and has blue eyes can be all fun and games when you’re not trying to take a relationship too seriously. However, when it comes time to weigh the pros and cons of being with a person, it’s ultimately more important to consider how you’ll achieve financial stability together, without sacrificing your own emotional fulfillment.
“In today's economy, we see more people sacrificing genuine attraction, chemistry and compatibility to date someone with better personal finances,” Bendory said. “If you're considering staying in a relationship for the sake of financial security, it's important to think about the bigger picture of what will truly satisfy you. Instead, I think we should normalize it for couples to make a financial plan together and prioritize things like value alignment, shared goals, and genuine friendship over money.”
