Choking your partner during sex: What is erotic asphyxiation?

Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations on the topic are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most people facing sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often turn to unverified online sources or follow unscientific advice from their friends. To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com publishes this weekly column on sex titled “Let’s Talk About Sex.” We hope to start conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific perspective and nuances.

In this article, we'll discuss what erotic asphyxiation is, why some people find it appealing, and crucial safety facts you need to know.

Have you ever felt the thrill of being left breathless? You’re not alone. Erotic asphyxiation, or “breath play,” is gaining popularity in the bedrooms. But before you grab your partner’s neck, let’s talk safety first. This kink involves restricting oxygen during intimate moments to achieve an intense high. While it may sound daring, it comes with serious risks. Are you ready to explore this controversial kink? Take a deep breath and let’s dig in.

Erotic asphyxiation and choking: definition of the terms

When we talk about choking in the bedroom, we're not talking about accidentally swallowing a fish bone. In this context, choking refers to the act of applying pressure to someone's neck during sexual activity. It's a form of breath play that can restrict blood flow to the brain, creating a dizzy feeling that some people find pleasurable.

Now, erotic asphyxiation is a broader term that encompasses choking and other activities that involve breath play. It involves intentionally restricting oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. This can include suffocation, but also things like smothering or using a plastic bag. The idea is that the rush of oxygen when you start breathing again can intensify sexual pleasure.

The science behind erotic asphyxiation

Ever wondered what happens in your body when you practice a little breath play? Let's dig into the science behind erotic asphyxiation:

• Your brain up high: When you restrict oxygen to your brain, you're basically giving it a mini-vacation from reality. As your oxygen levels drop, your brain releases a cocktail of chemicals that can make you feel euphoric, dizzy, and even a little groggy.
• The adrenaline rush: Your body's fight-or-flight response goes into overdrive during erotic asphyxiation. Adrenaline starts coursing through your veins, heightening your senses and making everything feel more intense.
• Intensification of sensations: As oxygen becomes scarce, nerve endings become more sensitive. This means that every touch, every caress, feels amplified. It's like turning up the volume on your body's pleasure receptors. Plus, a lack of oxygen can make your orgasms feel more powerful and last longer.
• The glow: Once the oxygen flow normalizes, you may experience a rush of endorphins (the body's natural feel-good chemicals). This can lead to feelings of euphoria and deep relaxation.

Remember that while the science behind erotic asphyxiation may seem intriguing, it is not something to be taken lightly. Always prioritize safety and consent in your sexual adventures.

The dangers and risks of asphyxiation during sexual intercourse

Before we dive into the world of erotic asphyxiation, let’s address the elephant in the bedroom: the risks. Choking during sex may sound exciting, but it’s not all fun and games. Remember that erotic asphyxiation is like playing with fire. Your brain needs oxygen like a plant needs water, and depriving it for too long can have serious consequences. One minute you’re having a great time, and the next, things can take a dangerous turn. Your partner may not be able to signal that it’s too much, especially if they’re in the moment or, you know, can’t breathe. We’re talking about potential brain damage, heart problems, or even accidental death. It’s critical to understand the risks and be extra careful if you decide to explore this kink. We’re talking about:

• Dizziness and disorientation
• Fainting or loss of consciousness
• Seizures
• Brain damage
• Damage to the muscles of the throat and neck.
• Increased risk of stroke
• Mood swings and memory problems
• And in extreme cases, even death.

Legal ramifications: If something goes wrong, you could face serious charges. Consent doesn't protect you if your partner gets hurt or worse. It's a legal minefield you don't want to walk into. Remember, there's a fine line between kinky and risky. If you're still curious about breath play, consider safer alternatives that don't involve direct pressure on the throat.

Setting Boundaries and Safety Tips

• Communication: Before you even think about trying erotic asphyxiation, you need to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Talk about your desires, fears, and boundaries. Remember, consent is sexy and absolutely necessary. Establish a safe word or signal that means “stop immediately” — something easy to remember even in the heat of the moment.
• Know your anatomy: Choking during sex is no child's play. You need to know what you're doing to avoid serious damage. The sides of the neck are where you should apply pressure, not the front. Pressing on the trachea can cause permanent damage. Don't try it if you're not 100 percent sure of the anatomy.
• Start slow and stay sober: When you're ready to experiment, take it slow. Start with light pressure and gradually increase as you both become more comfortable. Never try this when you're drunk or high. You must be completely alert and in control.
• Have a safety plan: Always have a plan B. Keep scissors handy to quickly cut through ties if necessary. Make sure you know basic first aid and CPR. And remember, if you feel like something isn't right, stop immediately. Your instinct is usually right when it comes to safety.

So there you have it: the basics of erotic asphyxiation. While it may be exciting for some couples, it's not something to be taken lightly. If you're curious about trying it, have a deep conversation with your partner first. Never try it while under the influence of any substance. And remember, you can always explore other kinky activities that don't carry the same risks. Your health (and your partner's) is far more important than any momentary thrill. At the end of the day, your safety and well-being should always come first in the bedroom. Keep things consensual, communicate openly, and have fun exploring your desires in ways that make you feel good.