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A bride-to-be has been defended after refusing to invite her sister's boyfriend's son to her wedding.
In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit forum “Am I The I**hole?”, a woman shared that she is getting married later this year and that her sister will be her maid of honor. However, her sister recently split from her husband of 15 years, whom she referred to as Rhys, and has now started dating someone she met at work.
According to the bride, she hasn't spent much time with her sister's new partner, whom she referred to as Brandon, and neither has the groom. “I've met him briefly a couple of times before, but I don't know him very well,” she explained. “He's nice enough, but my [future husband] “I have never met him and, as I say, I don't really know him myself.”
However, before the bride's sister started dating someone new, her ex-husband was invited to the wedding, as he had been married to the maid of honor for 15 years and “was a big part of the family.”
Now that Rhys didn’t want to go to the wedding, following the breakup, Brandon “assumed he was invited” instead. Although the Reddit user “didn’t like” that Brandon made this assumption, she let it go. But she later learned that Brandon had invited his daughter to the event without permission, which ultimately was a problem.
“[My sister] “She informs me that Brandon has told his daughter Kelly, who he co-parents with his ex, that they will both be attending my wedding, which Kelly is very excited about,” the bride-to-be added. “I reminded my sister that we will be having a ‘child-free’ wedding, which was communicated to all those invited to attend, as we ourselves do not have children, do not want to have children, and therefore do not want children at our wedding, something all of our family and friends have agreed to.”
The Reddit user added that when she met Kelly, the 10-year-old was “unfortunately a complete brat” and “definitely not a child” she wanted at the wedding, regardless of whether or not children were allowed to attend.
The bridesmaid initially thought the problem with Kelly's invitation was money, so she “initially offered to pay for her place.” However, the bride-to-be stressed that she didn't like Kelly and that children were not allowed at the wedding.
“Brandon went too far in assuming that his son could come without even trying to talk to me and my [future husband] “First, I calmly told her that she knew we were having a child-free wedding and that she should have told her immediately to prevent this from happening,” she continued. “It is also not fair to our other friends and family, who have arranged childcare for their own children, to respect our wishes.”
The bridesmaid was still upset, as she claimed it would be “hard” for her to tell her groom that she couldn’t bring Kelly, as she was “excited to go to the wedding.” The bride-to-be later acknowledged that this wasn’t her problem, claiming that she is “not responsible for [Brandon] trying to crash a family event he wasn’t even invited to in the first place.”
The bride-to-be concluded by noting that he offered to talk to Brandon, but his sister ultimately declined that offer.
The Reddit post quickly went viral, receiving over 6,000 upvotes. In the comments, several people defended the bride's decision to not invite Kelly to the wedding, while criticizing Brandon for assuming he could bring his daughter to the event in the first place.
“It's enough that you're having a childless wedding. It's not your problem that he made that assumption. It's not your problem that your sister didn't automatically correct him. Let him go.” [your sister] “Tell him. If he doesn’t want to come, so be it. If she decides to back out, let her. Don’t give in to any ‘keeping the peace’ arguments. You’ll regret it,” wrote one. “If you think he’s bringing his daughter, make sure there’s someone who will deny you both the ceremony and the reception.”
“It’s not right for a person to not only invite themselves to your wedding, but also invite their child. You might want to have a backup bridesmaid, just in case she decides this hill is worth dying for,” wrote another. “Don’t give in. Think of all the people who found babysitters because there are no kids.”
“It’s a wedding without kids,” wrote a third. “There’s nothing else to talk about. It’s your day and that’s a stipulation. She went overboard with her assumptions. She put herself in an awkward situation.”
