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A bride has been criticised for sending thank you notes to all her guests except her maid of honour, who gave her a $700 gift.
In a recent post shared on the popular “Wedding Shaming” forum, a woman explained how her initial $500 wedding gift to her sister “just [wasn’t] “enough.” The Reddit user began by explaining that when she was invited to the nuptials, she didn’t expect her sister to ask her to be her maid of honor (MOH).
“It was a little surprising because we’re not very close – we live in different states and she never communicates with me (I try to call or text her),” he wrote. “The preparations for the wedding and the wedding itself were shitty.”
She then shared more details about the events leading up to the wedding, noting that she and her partner “flew in to attend.” [the] engagement party.” However, he explained that when he arrived at the party, which was at his parents’ house, he accidentally disturbed the then-future bride.
“I offered my sister and her fiancé to use a steamer on their dresses. They pulled out a steamer they had bought at a thrift store,” the post continued. “I stupidly used it and it splashed water on my sister’s dress, leaving a small water stain. It wasn’t noticeable. Well, she got furious. She yelled at me and said I had ruined her day.”
Although the Ministry of Health managed to get the dress dry cleaned, making it “fine” for the party, her sister did not speak to her for “the rest of the day.” She also noted that her sister “never thanked her” for flying to the party, even though flights “weren’t cheap.”
She acknowledged that while she gave her sister space after the engagement party, the bride was upset for three reasons: the first was that she didn't bring a gift to the event. The second reason was that the bridesmaid didn't talk to the “right people” at the party and didn't take photos. The bride was also upset that her bridesmaid “hadn't shown enough interest in the wedding preparations,” prompting the Reddit user to call out her sister.
“She reiterated that I had ruined her engagement party. I decided to be more generous and promised to talk more about the wedding,” the woman continued. “By the way, the reason I hadn’t brought a gift for the engagement party was because I was planning to give her a generous wedding gift.”
The Minister of Health then described her experience looking for a bridesmaid dress, which she had to pay for and show to the bride for approval before purchasing. She noted that while that was fine with her, all of the dresses she and her bridesmaids had chosen as their first choice “were rejected.” The group then learned that the bride wanted them to buy “a very specific type and color of dress,” but did not want to pay for it. Ultimately, the bridesmaids realized they “had no choice” when it came to choosing dresses.
As the wedding date approached, the bridesmaid and her partner discussed what to give, considering the amount of money the bride’s sister spent on a bridesmaid dress. The couple also took four flights to attend the wedding events, and the bridesmaid’s partner bought the bride a “bottle of champagne to celebrate.” While the bridesmaid’s sister and her partner decided to give $500 as a gift, her mother suggested giving more, since the bridesmaid was the oldest sister. The Reddit user was hesitant about the idea, given her relationship with her younger sister.
“I pointed out that he almost openly hated me, yelled at me after his engagement party, and would almost certainly never think of giving me even half of the $500,” she wrote. “I should also mention that my parents paid substantially for this wedding, so this is not a situation where the wedding itself was so lavish that it would perhaps warrant a larger gift.”
The Minister of Health later explained that once she arrived at the wedding rehearsal, she discovered that the nuptials were not going to be what she had thought, and she learned that there would be no music or dance floor.
“The wedding was scheduled for the middle of a weekday, just in the afternoon, no evening dancing or anything. Just a pizza lunch,” she added. “A shuttle bus was arranged for the guests to get to and from the wedding, but they had to pay for it. Take a day off work and then pay for the shuttle.”
She concluded by noting that she gave her sister $700 as a wedding gift, so she did not receive a “thank you message or card,” even though other guests did receive their gifts.
In the comments, several people questioned and criticized the bride for not sending a thank you note to her fiancé after receiving such a generous gift.
“We were thrilled to receive $50-$100 from our guests. Everyone received a thank you note,” one person responded.
“I received a $10 gift card from a family member who was going through a tough time. You can bet she got a thank you note just as gushing as my grandmother who gifted us a $350 Kitchenaid. I honestly wasn’t expecting a lot of gifts, but I was glad to see everyone there,” wrote another.
Others questioned the Ministry of Health for giving her such a nice gift in the first place, while criticising her sister's behaviour.
“$700? After how he treated you at the engagement party for a simple mistake? Yeah, you shouldn’t have even given him $70,” one wrote.
“No thank you note? I would have sent you one with a huge apology for my bad behavior during and after my wedding. People eventually show us who they really are, don’t they? I’m sorry you had to spend so much money to find out that about your own sister,” another commented.
