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Child-free weddings have become increasingly common over the years, but one bride decided to exclude her little sister from her wedding for a unique reason.
In a recent Reddit post shared on the popular subreddit “Am I a moron?”, the woman explained that she was the oldest of her siblings and that she and her fiancé always babysat them after school and occasionally spent the night with them.
However, after he proposed, two of the older brothers were very excited for them, while their five-year-old sister, Evie, was not. “She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him and if I marry him she can’t. She refused to talk to me for almost a week and now she’s pretty good but she gets mad at me and starts crying and hitting me every time she sees me kissing him,” her Reddit post read.
The original plan for the wedding was for Evie to be the flower girl, but due to her recent behavior, the bride-to-be said she decided to reconsider. After telling her father about her concerns, he told her that Evie would not be allowed to attend unless she started attending therapy.
“He says she doesn’t need therapy, that she’s just a five-year-old girl who has a crush on my fiancé, that I’m overreacting, and that he won’t forgive me if I cut her out of the wedding,” the Reddit post continued.
The bride also clarified that therapy was a last resort and both she and her fiancé have spoken to Evie.
“We have tried everything. We have talked about her behavior, her feelings, how what she is doing is not acceptable, how my fiancé will stay in her life, but nothing has helped. She is put in solitary confinement just as she starts hitting and kicking, she loses her toys, she goes on walks early, and my fiancé refuses to play with her after because she won’t play with anyone who hits her. This is not normal behavior for a five-year-old,” she wrote.
“There is nothing else we can do. And to all those who say that their parents should be parents, how do you suggest they do it? They will neglect the children, whether they have them full-time or part-time.”
Following the post, many people took to the comments to tell the bride that she shouldn't let the situation affect her wedding and that her parents should take more control of Evie's behavior.
“Naturally, a father who lets his adult daughter have 50 percent custody of his teenage children is going to dismiss behavioral issues that absolutely warrant therapy. NTA, stand your ground on this one. Obviously, there’s more at stake here than this story, but regardless, you shouldn’t allow anything to ruin your wedding,” one comment began.
“In the meantime, educate yourself on parentification. It’s good that your fiancé is looking out for your siblings and supporting you, but this dynamic will eventually ruin your relationship with him if you let it deteriorate.”
Another commenter agreed that the problem went beyond Evie being in love with the bride's fiancé.
“She is five and cannot verbalize what is probably very confusing for her: her own parents don’t seem to love her, you and your fiancé do, and she wants more love and affection from your fiancé,” they wrote. “She definitely needs therapy and her parents need to step in and fill the obvious void that exists. You and your fiancé need to take a step back and not take the kids away so much. Her parents need to raise their children.”
The comment continued: “How will you and your fiancé build your life together if you are the caregivers for all of your siblings? What happens if you decide to have your own children? How will your siblings react when you can no longer care for them and have to care for your own children? The issue is much bigger than your younger sister not being able to be the flower girl at your wedding.”
However, others felt the five-year-old's behaviour was nothing to worry about, with some suggesting it is common among children. “I wanted to marry my brother when I was little, I think I was older than five. I was really worried because I have two sisters and he might want to marry one of them instead,” one person wrote. “I'm not sure this is as worrying as some people here seem to think. Tell him he can't marry her yet because she's too young, but he will when he's older. I promise you won't force him to do so.”
Another said: “I literally remember telling my mother that I would marry my father when I was older, when I was little. I’m glad it’s a common thing. It’s awkward to remember.”
