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US News Reporter
A bride has sparked outrage after asking her friends to throw her a hen party despite not inviting them to the wedding.
In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit forum “Am I The I**hole?”, a woman shared that one of her best friends, whom she referred to as Jane, is soon getting married to her partner Brad. She then explained some of the wedding plans that Jane had previously mentioned.
“Jane has always expressed that she wants me and a few of our closest friends to be her bridesmaids and to have a destination wedding,” she explained. “When I saw Jane and Brad on the day they got engaged, one of the first things Jane told me was how excited she was to have me and another friend be her bridesmaids.”
However, she explained that Jane's stance on the wedding changed recently, noting that her friend “decided to have a small wedding in Colorado,” with “only immediate family” invited in order to save money. While there will be a “casual party” for the rest of the couple's friends and family, there will be no “formal dinner” or ceremony afterwards, so “this is clearly not a second wedding.” The Reddit user then shared her honest thoughts on not being invited to the royal wedding.
“While I was disappointed and hurt to hear that I wouldn’t be invited to the royal wedding, I understand that it is her right to have whatever kind of wedding she wants, and if it’s not important to her that her best friends are there, that’s her choice,” she added.
She admitted that the only thing that “bothered” her was that Jane wanted to do many of the popular pre-wedding events, even though she didn’t have a bridal party.
“Jane is still hoping for a bachelorette party, a long weekend to an expensive destination for her bachelorette party and she mentioned a wedding gift registry,” the post continued. “I find it a little ridiculous that she still expects these things to be organised and (presumably) paid for by people who AREN’T EVEN INVITED TO THE ROYAL WEDDING!”
The Reddit user explained that Jane still “insists on calling” her friends her bridesmaids, even though they won’t be “present at the wedding and won’t have any special designations at the party.” She concluded by noting that her friends are divided on what to do, as she’s debating whether to tell “Jane that if she’s not having a traditional wedding, she can’t expect the benefits of a traditional wedding.”
The Reddit post quickly went viral and received over 8,000 upvotes. In the comments, several people criticized the bride and said that she shouldn't expect a bachelorette party and a trip from her friends if they aren't invited to the wedding.
“If none of you are invited to the wedding, none of you are bridesmaids. If none of you are invited to the wedding, a gift is not required,” one wrote.
“You can’t enjoy everything if your wedding isn’t the best. It sounds so selfish. I would just say that since you’re just hosting a private wedding for family only, let’s host a celebration for close friends after you get married,” wrote another. “If she says anything about it, tell her we’re not invited to the wedding so a bachelorette party etc. is pointless. Blame her. If she keeps insisting, just walk away. It doesn’t sound like a friendship you want to maintain anyway.”
“As for the bachelorette party, moms can pay for it and the registry can be used to buy gifts. She can’t expect someone who isn’t invited to the wedding to take her on a trip for her bachelorette party. If she wants to plan and invite people, that’s one thing, but paying for it? I don’t think so,” wrote a third.
