A London -based couple has shared their unconventional path towards fatherhood, celebrating the “burrows of Colombian fairies” who helped them have three children through the subrogation.
Shaun Thomas, a 36 -year -old pharmacist, and his partner, the 40 -year -old banker, Paul Brennan, found the subrogation process of the discouraging and expensive United Kingdom. Determined to start a family during the pandemic, they explored options abroad.
The couple's research led them to Colombia, attracted by their affordability, ethical practices and “high -class egg donors,” they said. Despite the language barrier, they forged strong connections with the women who took their children. His twins, Margot and Tomás, are now two years old, and his youngest son, Rian, is nine months.
Reflecting on their experience, Thomas and Brennan expressed their gratitude for Colombian women who made their family possible. Now they are encouraging their children to learn Spanish to connect with their inheritance.
Thomas also offers guidance to other possible parents who navigate the complexities of the international subrogation through their website and consulting service, Father Subrogacy.
He and Brennan initially found the Subrogation System of the United Kingdom challenging, particularly the legal landscape and financial burden, and discovered that many others seeking substitutes resort to online private groups. Their trip saw them consider several countries, including the United States, Cyprus and Canada, before establishing themselves in Colombia in 2022.
Shaun told Pa Real Life: “You have to be very careful (using Facebook groups), it is almost like an underground operation.
“It is not regulated and there may be so much wrong information.
“You see other people who find their substitutes there and make you question yourself 'Why have you not chosen us?'
“It can be something really lovely for other people, but trying to find a substitute is something very complicated.”
During the pandemia, Shaun and Paul began to “reassess (their) lives” and decided to start investigating their options to become parents.
They chose the subrogation route since they “liked the idea” of having a “biological connection” with their children.
However, after consulting friends of children and substitute lawyers and conducting their own investigation, they realized that the subrogation in the United Kingdom would be a challenging and long process.
According to the 1985 subrogation arrangement law, it is illegal in the United Kingdom to announce a substitute or organize a subrogation agreement for commercial gain.
Non -profit organizations can support parents and substitutes planned, but any agreement made is not legally enforceable.
Shaun explained: “To join one of the non -profit organizations, I would pay around £ 1,000 as a union rate and do not coincide with possible substitutes.
“We, like many people, expected to meet a best friend who would also accept to be our substitute, but we thought it would take two to four years just to find a substitute when we wanted more than one son.”
These problems have led to the popularity of Facebook groups where parents hope to meet a substitute.
Shaun joined one of these groups and discovered that he organized casual meetings between the substitutes and the planned parents, but discovered that “he felt a bit artificial.”
Due to the law, when publishing there, the members should not be too explicit about what they are looking for to avoid advertising.
If there is a substitute, in the United Kingdom, possible obstacles do not stop there.
At birth, the substitute is the child's legal father, and if the substitute is married or in a civil society, his spouse is usually the second legal father unless they do not consent.
Legal fatherhood can only be transferred through a parental order or adoption, and the courts intervene if disputes arise, depending on the best interests of the child.
He said: “In an ideal world, we would have had a substitute journey from the United Kingdom for many reasons: language, logistics and an even longer link with the substitute.”
They explored other options, such as the United States, but discovered that it would cost between £ 145,000 and £ 200,000 for a child.
A friend also suggested Kenya, but they felt that “it was not appropriate for (them) as a same -sex couple.”
While continuing their online search, the couple discovered Colombia as a potential subrogation option, which cost around £ 50,000 per child, and were intrigued by having visited the country of vacation.
After his lawyer confirmed that it was a regulated and “welcoming” destination for same -sex couples, they connected with agencies, lawyers and parents, discovering that he fulfilled all his criteria with affordable ethical services and “donors of high quality eggs.”
In 2022, they decided to move on.
Shaun and Paul used the same egg donor, with half of the eggs fertilized by Shaun and the other half by Paul to create embryos.
Each set of embryos was transferred to a different substitute, with its synchronized menstrual cycles to allow transfers the same day.
This method was aimed at “replicating a twin pregnancy”, and both transfers were successful.
Shaun said: “We feel so lucky that he took the first time, we couldn't believe it and we were very excited.”
The “only cons” that Shaun and Paul found during pregnancy were the time difference and the language barrier between them and the substitutes.
Shaun said they were informed of all scanning and appointments and flewing for 20 weeks scan to meet the substitutes again before birth.
Both babies had to appear on the same date, but Margot, conceived using Shaun's sperm, was born six days before Tomas, who was conceived using Paul's sperm.
“It was a capricious experience and it doesn't matter how much you read about becoming parents, it's still new to you,” Shaun said.
“It's something magical.”
Paul took six weeks of paternity license, while Shaun took a free year to “take care of the children.”
In 2023, Shaun and Paul had three remaining embryos and felt that they owed themselves to try more transfers.
The first transfer failed, the second ended in spontaneous abortion, but the third, using Paul's sperm, was successful.
His son, Rian, was born in July 2024.
Shaun said: “We feel like the most fortunate people in the world and we only experience so much joy with having our children.”
Since then, they have remained in contact with the substitutes and have books that explain to their children who were born through subrogation.
Shaun said: “We see substitutes as godmothers of Colombian fairies, but they will always be part of our lives, because if it weren't for them, we would not have our children.”
As their egg donor was Colombian, the children are half Colombians, and Margot and Tomás are bilingual in Spanish and English to “give them so many opportunities to explore” their roots when they are older.
Shaun has also launched a website and social channels, Father Subrogaty, to support others that explore the subrogation and is an independent international subrogation consultant.
To further help possible parents, Shaun will speak at the Conference on Subrogation and Conception of Donors of Families of Families/Donors of Growing Families families on May 10 in London. For more information, visit: www.growingfamilies.org/london-event-2025.
